OK, what didn’t happen in Pennsylvania yesterday?
Outside of me not holding the Mega Millions lottery ticket with a $149 million jackpot sold in Pennsylvania, plenty!
We had lottery ping-pong balls bouncing as if they were on steroids, a primary election, and a judicial ruling that left some people feeling gay and others not so much.
In a lottery of human beings to be selected next month, the Sixers landed the third and 10th overall picks in the NBA draft.
But all Philly fans can talk about today is that the draft lottery was fixed because the Cavaliers landed the top pick for the third time in four years, thus screwing the Sixers — who had strategically tanked their season to embellish their odds in a lottery in which piss-poor teams earn a better mathematical chance as a reward for their ineptitude.
And don’t you wish your boss had a similar attitude?
Conspiracy theorists are a breed more paranoid than Joseph Stalin (anybody under 60 please Google him).
With plum franchises like the Lakers and the Celtics sentenced by suddenly plummeting fortunes to the lottery Gulag, why the hell would the NBA rig it for Cleveland, the mistake by the lake that now at least has Johnny Manziel in town?
The NBA, of course, wouldn’t and didn’t.
The NBA lottery, like the Mega Millions, is all in the bounce of the ping-pong balls.
And then there was the Pennsylvania primary election.
Granted, a big snore except for the gubernatorial race.
Actually, even that was a big snooze-fest since embattled incumbent Tom Corbett ran unopposed on the Republican side and Tom Wolf, as expected, smothered his Democratic opponents with all the money he spent on TV ads.
Corbett just could be the most vulnerable first-term governor since PA allowed governors to run for a second term.
The left would love to stick fondue forks in Corbett’s ears and stir.
His own party also sees him as toxic, with Lieutenant Governor Jim Cawley collecting 26,000 more votes than Corbett (rather remarkable because lieutenant governors couldn’t be anymore anonymous if they were in the Witness Protection Program) and members of the Corbett administration jumping like rats from a sinking ship.
Speaking of forks, don’t put a fork in Corbett’s reelection chances even if his Not-So-Good Ship Lollipop is listing (to the right, of course).
What put Wolf over the top in the primary — money — won’t be the case in the general election. Corbett will begin the general election cycle with nearly six times the cash that Wolf has.
Money Talks. Bullshit Walks.
Except at times in politics, where bullshit also is a valuable currency. So we shall see come November (and whatever happened to summer?).
Finally, a federal judge struck down Pennsylvania’s ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, the latest judicial victory for gays and lesbians seeking to marry whomever they want.
Pennsylvania became the 19th state to allow same-sex marriage, joining eight others in the Northeast.
Corbett, who is opposed to same-sex marriage, said Wednesday he would not appeal the federal court ruling because his administration lawyers concluded that an appeal was extremely unlikely to succeed.
Left unsaid was that an appeal by Corbett would further alienate him from liberals who treat gays and lesbians like rock stars.
I would imagine that Corbett would draw the line on a judicial ruling allowing people of whatever sexual preference to marry their pet goldfish.