Stumped on what to give your lady? Well, Santa and his elves have a great gift up their sleeves

Shopping for that special gift for that special lady in your life is a daunting holiday task for most men.Suffice it to say, our women may adore us as gods, but they think our sense of fashion is downright atheistic.I learned years ago to stop buying clothes for my wife, who subsequently would dispatch them with warp speed. Whenever she would open one of my Christmas gifts, my presents seldom were met with a twinkling, welcoming eye. My fault, not hers. In retrospect, some of my gifts were scary enough to spook the stripes off a zebra.So now I’m reduced to giving her just gift certificates for Christmas. They’re not bad, of course. But there is nothing extraordinary romantic or sexy about a Wawa or Home Depot gift certificate.So would I resort to giving her a honest-to-goodness Christmas present that you can actually gift wrap? In a heartbeat, assuming I could get somebody else to gift wrap it. I’ve gotten a tad handy over the years, but my hand-eye coordination still isn’t sharp enough to handle a gift wrap that doesn’t look as if the present was chewed on by squirrels. The trick is finding a gift that works for her — and for me.Guess what? If I live long enough (not a given in a day and age when you need the steely calculation of a riverboat gambler just to merge onto the California freeway that has stolen the identity of our West Shore Bypass), there is hope on the horizon.Indeed, such a gift could truly be extraordinary — a true gift that keeps on giving.Yep, (pretend you hear a drum roll in the background as you read the next few words) a new nasal spray aphrodisiac for women that works in minutes may soon hit the market.Doctors said women who used the drug PT-141 in test studies felt a tingling or throbbing, followed by a strong desire to have sex immediately after spraying their noses.What a fabulous gift to share with your lady! Such a present undoubtedly would bridge the gender gap. I know I risk generalization when I say that sex owns a time-share in the foyer of most male minds. And I know I risk resorting to a stereotype when I say that sex usually is stuck in the attic of most female minds once they hit 30 and/or get married.Still, facts are facts.And this incredible gift has the bright promise of a sizzling sunrise to change all the dynamics of a relationship. Of course, a word to the wise: When the nasal spray aphrodisiac for women hits the shelves, make sure your lady only uses it in your company. Otherwise you may have to serve her divorce papers in lieu of gifts.