I can't believe I'm back to making New Year's resolutions!

Many of us over the years have made New Year’s resolutions. And then failed to keep any of them.About the only resolution I’ve ever kept is to no longer make New Year’s resolutions.Until now.So here are my resolutions for 2007:Adopt Homer Simpson as my role model!Pack on about 40 pounds by eating potato chips and banana splits for lunch every day! Break the heart of Miss Nude Universe when I rebuff her advances!Hold my breath until the City of Reading no longer has the tiniest shred of trash, litter and graffiti!Watch reality TV shows nonstop until I either resolve (there I go again) to kill myself or go bowling!Hang upside down by my toes from the roof of the Pagoda until meaningful property tax reform comes to Pennsylvania!Pat myself on the back each and every day for having the foresight not to vote for George W. Bush!Continue procrastinating on addressing all my bad habits, starting tomorrow!Throw a brick through the back window of any vehicle that (a) has its sound system shrieking louder than the hounds of hell or (b) is double-parked when I’m running late! Immerse myself in history so I no longer have to stay current!Blog daily while perched (in black tie) at a Monte Carlo baccarat table!Enough about me. If the spirit moves you and you can find the time between partying, watching football and then battling a killer hangover over the course of this holiday weekend, feel free to share some of your New Year’s resolutions — humorous or otherwise.