Happy New Year to Zeke Blogosphere denizens!

From the Zekester to all the Zeke Blog browsers out there, Happy New Year to you and yours.

And don’t eat too much pork and sauerkraut on New Year’s if you want to have abs like CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.

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With the world boiling over in various directions, watch out for what terrorists/engineers are cooking up

I don’t know about you, but I have known an egghead engineer or two over the years and have found them to be brainy and boring and with all the personality of a fire hydrant.
Swashbuckling is not a phrase I would attach to them.
However, it seems a lot of terrorists are engineers, not just wide-eyed zealots who have radicalized their views by perpetually sticking their noses in their Islamic studies.
I guess it makes sense. If you want to open a huge can of hurt in the world and you can’t do enough damage simply by whacking a pipe across people’s knees, you need to build a bomb to thin the herd of perceived infidels.
The failed attack this Christmas? It was attempted by mechanical engineer Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. I guess he’s a lousy engineer. Probably passed on the curve like some NASCAR driver.
Other terrorists/engineers of note have been the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, Mohamed Atta, and notable bad guy Khalid Sheikh Mohamed.
It must be all the dry engineering that makes all their heads crack like eggs.
Not that I endorse profiling or anything dastardly like that. But we should target prime suspects, not everybody and anybody. When they cracked down on the Mafia, they mainly looked at Italians. When they went after the Irish Republican Army, they fingered the Irish. Not too many Poles were in the Mafia and not too many Chinese were in the IRA. You can look up their membership rolls.
I say the CIA and the FBI should comb the ranks of Muslim engineers everywhere. They likely are more dangerous than somebody’s 94-year-old grandmother from Omaha who struggles to get her shoes off during airport security checks and who literally never hurt a fly in her life because she is apalled by flyswatters.

When in the not-so friendly skies, watch out for underwear — the latest model of mass destruction

For centuries warriors have used a vast array of weapons — clubs, swords, spears, rocks, stones, arrows, knives, handguns, rifles, brass knuckles, machine guns, battleships, sophisticated planes, rockets, missiles, bombs, nuclear weapons, mustard gas and other exotic weapons of mass destruction.

Now the evolution of weapons has come down to underwear.

Somewhere Genghis Khan is rolling over in his grave.

We used to have warriors. Now this. Alexander the Great wouldn’t have been caught dead taking the field of battle in his underwear.

Did anybody ever see a photo of Hitler in his shorts?

Granted, Robin Hood wore tights, but they weren’t boxers or briefs.

A singed pair of underwear with a packet of powder sewn into the crotch, seen in government photos obtained exclusively by ABC News, is all that remains of an attempt to down an American passenger plane over Detroit on Christmas Day.

The bomb consisted of a packet of powder sewn into the briefs of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a 23-year-old Nigerian.

Al Qaeda took credit Monday for the attempted bombing, boasted of its ability to overcome U.S. intelligence and airport security, and promised new attacks.
For a bunch of terrorists, they seem to resort to wimpy weapons. Real men don’t fight with underwear.
As for all of us who fly, we should be totally committed to the mass destruction of al Qaeda. Flying already was a colossal pain in the posterior with all the silly security checks that plague innocent passengers. And now that the government has imposed pat downs on all passengers, it’s quicker to take a covered wagon than a plane cross-country.

Eagles wake up just in time to kick past the Broncos

The Eagles lost their mojo for much of the second half and looked as if they were heading for a divine comeuppance against the Bronocs Sunday at the Linc.

You could already hear the harshening of discourse on the sports radio stations with the Birds squandering a 27-10 lead as Denver seemingly was summoned out of oblivion to knot matters at 27 apiece.

The Eagles looked totally gassed in the late stages, sucking in so much air that one wondered what tiny creatures were flying down their throats.

Macho Harris was a liability of major proportions as a penalty on him flipped field position like a seesaw and then his detonating seismic fumble on a kickoff helped shave the lead to 27-24.

But good fortune kissed the Eagles wetly on the lips when with 59 seconds left the referee overruled one of his officials and decided that Jeremy Maclin, symbolic of the Birds’ uptick in athletic skill the last couple seasons, got both feet down on a play thisclose along the sidelines, a 27-yard catch to the Denver 13.

That enabled David Ackers to boot matters up a level by kicking the game-winning 28-yard field goal with just 4 seconds left for a 30-27 victory.

The Eagles (11-4) could have clinched their sixth NFC East title this decade if Dallas had lost at Washington in the Sunday night game.

But the comatose Redskins couldn’t beat Southwest Junior High these days as they rolled over and were kicked to the curb by the Cowboys 17-0.

The Eagles now play at Dallas for the division title next Sunday in a regular season finale that will be howlingly obvious for drama.

Senate health care bill passage: A jolly Christmas gift or a monstrosity? Santa and the rest of us will find out

And you thought only Santa worked on Christmas Eve, huh?

Well, the Senate worked today, too, and took its first Christmas Eve vote since 1895.
Of course, there are some folks who wished the Senate had stayed home today to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. They would be the Republicans and the insurance companies. They’re sipping their egg nog right now through Bah Humbug grimaces on their sour pusses. Meanwhile, the Democrats are gulping champagne through their aurora borealis smiles.
As you may have heard by now, Senate Democrats passed a landmark health care bill in a crucial Christmas Eve vote that may define Barack Obama’s presidential legacy and usher in near-universal medical coverage for the first time in the country’s history.
The 60-39 vote had 58 Democrats and two independents voting “yea” while Republicans unanimously voted “nay.”
The vote came after progressives and conservatives went hammer and tong over it for months … after awhile all the rhetoric began to sound like they all were debating Larry, Moe and Curly in Latin. The scrimmaging was considerably more intense than a touch football game between Red Roof Inn desk clerks and Denny’s fry cooks.

Granted, the Senate’s bill must still be merged with legislation passed by the House before Obama can sign a final bill in the new year. There are significant differences between the two measures but Democrats say they’ve come too far now to fail. You just know that while they’re still standing in a woodpile of details, they’ll keep hacking and chopping away like lumberjacks on speed.
Both bills would extend health insurance to more than 30 million more Americans. And since one tiny sniffle can turn into a wheeze and a person’s universe suddenly is left in ashes and ruin, health care is a bit more important than that ugly tie Aunt Edna gave you for Christmas.
Insurance companies think this bill was obviously wired together in hell by some subcommittee that was giggling cruelly as it went about its work.
The legislation would ban the insurance industry from denying benefits or charging higher premiums on the basis of pre-existing medical conditions. The Congressional Budget Office predicts the bill will reduce deficits by $130 billion over the next 10 years, an estimate that assumes lawmakers carry through on hundreds of billions of dollars in planned cuts to insurance companies and doctors, hospitals and others who treat Medicare patients.
For the first time, the government would require nearly every American to carry insurance, and subsidies would be provided to help low-income people to do so. Employers would be induced to cover their employees through a combination of tax credits and penalties. The legislation costs nearly $1 trillion over 10 years and is paid for by a combination of taxes, fees and cuts to Medicare.
Republicans are going bonkers because they fear that a government takeover of health care will increase premiums for families and small businesses, raise taxes during a recession, cut seniors’ Medicare benefits, add to our skyrocketing debt and put bureaucrats in charge of decisions that should be made by patients and doctors.
The pros and cons of this are enough to make you sick.
The bottom line is that staying healthy sometimes is more about staying wealthy.

Where Obama stood on the public option during the campaign depended on whether his feet were in public or private … which is why he's now assuming a stance of semantics

When you campaign for the presidency, you sometimes put your head in a lion’s mouth with the words you speak. Or don’t speak. Or speak behind closed doors.

Whatever, the whole thing may be enough to drive President Obama to the nearest speakeasy. Which means he ought to come to Reading. There apparently are more speakeasies in town these days than there are cops.
In the deafening maw of debate over health care, which is reaching boiling intensity, Obama seems to be splitting hairs over semantics.
Which is splitting liberals more than the Three Wisemen … also known as Bush, Cheney and Rush … once did.
Obama is claiming he didn’t campaign on the public option, although the public option was included in his health care campaign plan. Obama was covering more ground than Derek Jeter at shortstop during the campaign when he publicly downplayed the public option but evidently frequently mentioned it in private discussions.
I guess private doesn’t count when you’re talking public.
A clever option if there ever was one, especially when your health care plan is getting so polluted it would foul the water at Lourdes.

Priest to the poor: Thou shalt shoplift

Thank God the Christmas shopping season is drawing to a close quicker than you can spout the names of Santa’s reindeer or otherwise retail chains would have to hire store detectives in droves.

A British priest has advised folks in desperate situations to shoplift from chain stores.

At least the Anglican clergyman has a soft spot for mom-and-pop stores.

The last time I looked at the Ten Commandments, Thou shalt not steal was still listed.

Retain theft still is theft, is it not?

And whatever happened to the bit about Blessed are the poor for they shall inherit the earth?

Granted, we all learned that’s a crock a long time ago.

I guess desperate times make for sticky fingers.