While here on the Berks home front the main offensives are killing dandelions, spreading mulch and finding enough loose change in sofas to keep our school districts and city from being more busted than Fergie, the rest of the world today is in a military frame of mind.
And since this is only Tuesday, the peaceniks hanging out on the Penn Street Bridge every Friday have three days to cool their jets.
In no particular order, the White House has thrown its weight (exact poundage unknown) behind a major compromise that could spell the end of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and lift the ban on gays in the military by the end of the year. The compromise was reached between Pentagon officials and gay rights groups in a meeting rumored to have been chaired by Ellen.
Meanwhile, Uncle Sam reportedly has been targeting insurgent groups by expanding clandestine military activities in the Middle East, including Iran and Yemen. Rambo supposedly has been seen training these covert Special Ops troops.
Then, my friends, comes the you-gotta-be-kidding-me escalation of tensions on the Korean peninsula. First of all, if you lived in either Korea, you would be tense. Sitting on a powder keg tends to do that to a person.
You wonder why anybody would live in North Korea if they could live in South Korea. At least they have food, water and electricity down south. That being said, South Korea ain’t exactly Hawaii. Ever wonder why there are two Koreas when even one is one too many? I blame General MacArthur.
There is nothing but insanity and a 1.2 million-member military in North Korea that nut ball leader Kim (the Shrimp) Jong IL — after peering over his shoe tops — ordered to brace for war.
The Short Puppet One froze relations with South Korea even though they already have been frozen more solid than the polar caps for decades. Jong, so far mum on how many gays are in his armed forces, is as irritable as an inflamed bowel these days because South Korea knows he sank one of its warships in March, killing 46 sailors.
South Korea is ramping up broadcasting propaganda efforts to entice communist soldiers to defect to the South where they will be able to eat a meal once in a while as well as watch reruns of Dancing With The Stars.