Havoc in Playland: Fisher-Price recalling more than 10 million kid products

This just in: Santa Claus had to be pried from the North Pole in a cold sweat.
Why?
Because he and his elves are gonna have to ramp up toy production big time for Christmas, considering that kids suddenly have nothing to play with.
Fisher-Price announced this morning that it’s recalling over 10 million toys, trikes and high chairs.
Hell, they’ll need a safari hunt to find all of them. Apparently there were a few safety issues, like lacerating pegs on a high chair and protrusions on a trike that in some cases caused genital bleeding.
Yikes.
So now kids will have to entertain themselves playing bongos at Carnegie Hall and wetting their noses before inserting them into light sockets.
Parents on the right are blaming Obama for the Fisher-Price mess and imploring him to kneel down on his prayer rug to find a quick solution to their kids’ playtime nightmare.
Parents on the left are blaming Sarah Palin and her Mama Grizzlies for not protecting their kids from the Fisher-Price mercenaries.
Parents in the middle are shipping their kids to their grandparents.