Need a truckload of dough for something stupid? Uncle Sam will bankroll it

Nobody these days seems to have enough money. The feds are cutting back what they give states; the states are cutting back what they give municipalities and school districts; and therefore all governmental services are being sliced like lunchmeat.

Not to mention that all our bridges and highways are no longer fit for buckboards, let alone vehicles that come with engines.

Imagine what we could do with the West Shore Bypass and the Penn State Bridge with $11.5 billion worth of repairs. Our shock absorbers would squeal with pure joy. Ditto our kidneys and bladders.

According to Oklahoma Republican Sen. Tom Coburn, Uncle Sam hissed away $11.5 billion this year. Not exactly chump change.

In his Wastebook 2010 highlights, or lowlights if you prefer, Coburn refers to the $615,000 in federal funds spent to digitize photographs, T-shirts and concert tickets belonging to the Grateful Dead. The money went to the University of California at Santa Cruz, the band’s chosen spot for an archive that is supposed to be free to the public.

My God, wouldn’t that send the late Jerry Garcia to Truckin’ on his guitar.

Coburn also features the nearly $3 million in taxpayer money that went to researchers at the University of California at Irvine so they can play video games such as World of Warcraft. The research is designed to help “organizations collaborate and compete more effectively in the global marketplace,” the report says.

Damn, that sounds credible to me. But then like 40 percent of other Americans, I believe in Creationism.

And here’s some more poetry for your ears. Nearly $1 million was spent on poetry in the Little Rock, New Orleans, Milwaukee and Chicago zoos to help raise awareness of environmental issues.

That’s such a stretch one would need salt water taffy for hamstrings to even pitch it.

Little wonder we have a federal deficit bigger than Santa’s waistline.