2010 Census Report: U.S. population growth the slowest since 1940 (thank God); big increases in South and West like manna from heaven for Republicans (God help us)

I don’t know about you, but I like a little elbow room when I’m walking down the street, driving on the highway, shopping for booze, splashing in the swimming pool, going to the movies and concerts, wrestling alligators, discussing politics, reading the Reading Eagle in a coffee shop, and tracking terrorists.
When things get too crowded, I have a tendency to throw some elbows — a byproduct of my basketball days when things got too crowded in the lane and fouled up my 1.5-inch vertical leap.
So I love the 2010 Census Report because it shows the U.S. growth rate of 9 percent over the past decade is the lowest since the 1940 census.
Apparently the Great Depression then and the Great Recession now had something to do with the dwindling growth rates. Who would have thunk it? I thought people in hard economic times found comfort in sexual healing, spiking birth rates.
Of course, there is bad news in everything. And there is in this Census Report if you’re a Democrat. The census shows steady migration to the South and West, traditionally Republican areas.
Who was doing the counting, Rush Limbaugh?
They use the Census figures to reapportion the 435 House seats among the 50 states. By the way, the official population of the U.S. now is 308,745,538. That’s assuming that nobody died, was born or snuck in across the Mexican border in the last few minutes.
The key numbers, however, are the House seats. Texas will gain four seats and Florida will gain two seats while Arizona, Georgia, South Carolina, Utah, Washington and Nevada will all gain one. New York and Ohio will each lose two congressional seats while Iowa, Illinois, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan and New Jersey will all lose one.
Locally, I guess the GOP will go after Tim Holden again. But Tim is Teflon. He sticks around like soggy Wheaties stuck to the side of the cereal bowl.
Suddenly, Democrats need to entice more of their flock to flee to the Promised Land in the South and West to offset the Republicans. Who can be this Democratic Moses? I have my money on Bill Clinton, that rascally Pied Piper.
By the way, they always release the Census Report this close to Christmas because Jesus was born in Bethlehem while Mary and Joseph were checking in as part of a census report. The Romans wouldn’t let them mail it in from Nazareth.