Dow Jones cracks 12,000! Will the dunes of the recession soon look like the hills of heaven?

Perhaps it wasn’t as transcendent as Caesar crossing the Rubicon in January 49 BC, but the the Dow Jones crossed the 12,000 Rubicon today for the first time since June 2008.

Shares on Wall Street broke through that psychologically significant level shortly after the market opened, hardly giving Egg McMuffins a chance to digest, and reached as high as 12,020.44 before noon.

But it was unable to sustain that level over the course of the day, and dropped above and below the threshold several times. If the Dow closes above 12,000, it would be the first time since June 19, 2008, before the financial crisis threw markets into turmoil.

Financial wizards not moonlighting as tax preparers at H&R Block attributed the milestone uptick to several factors, including Obama’s State of the Union address, Michele Bachmann’s tepid Tea Party rebuttal, the fact that more porn stars are using Twitter and the spike in snow blower sales in Berks County today.