Party animal Charlie Sheen wrapped in a cloak of dread complete with porn stars and coke

So what’s up with Charlie Sheen? His swashbuckling dalliances with hookers and drugs are becoming the stuff of legend.

Man, this dude is more messed up than my sock drawer.

Speaking of socks, the Two and a Half Men star and television’s highest-paid actor should have spent Thursday straightening out his sock drawer.

Instead, according to multiple reports, Sheen spent the day and night hard-partying with porn stars — including Kacey Jordan and Melanie Rios.

Jordan told TMZ.com that Sheen was guzzling vodka, freebasing cocaine that arrived in a Gucci briefcase and watching adult movies during his bender. Talk about an epic blowout. Talk about burning the candle at both ends. Hell, Sheen’s antics were enough to melt a 65-ton Abrams tank.

God, all that sounds more energy-sapping than slowly bleeding to death.

As you probably know by now, all good things must come to an end. Sheen was rushed from his $8 million Beverly Hills home on a stretcher. He reportedly had severe abdominal pains after aggravating — get this, mind you — a hiatal hernia by laughing too hard at the TV.

Well, one of these days all the laughter will die in sorrow. Sheen survived this time and slipped quietly out of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center today, with plans to rejoin shooting of his comedy hit Tuesday.

But Bad Boy Charlie is gonna have to free himself from the immense, violent wave of self-destruction in which he seems soaked up to his gills.

Otherwise he soon will look old enough to be in a painting hanging on the wall of some posh Manhattan duplex. And be out of work.

Or worse. He’ll be dead.

They may scrawl across his tombstone that Charlie Sheen squeezed life until the juice ran down his arms.

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