Mubarak splits to the Red Sea … blame it all on Obama … Donald Trump to the rescue

Vows, as any divorced person can tell you, were made to be broken. And my apologies for that analogy as Valentine’s Day beckons.

One day after vowing to serve until September, Hosni Mubarak resigned the Egyptian presidency today and fled Cairo to his estate on the Red Sea. No word yet on whether he’ll don his flip-flops and try to part the Red Sea while in exile.

Quitting was a smart move, considering had he stayed he likely soon would be deader than King Tut. His charm had worn thin and the ensuing tension was as sharp as a razor. Plus his palace was running short on napkins.

Of course, Egypt still is a bigger mess than the kitchen of a truck stop diner. A military council will now take over the country — and its first act, troublingly, was to suspend both houses of Parliament, sack the cabinet, and announce plans to govern with the head of the Supreme Court.

Uh-oh.

Granted, none of this would have happened if a Republican or Tea Bagger sat in the White House. This clearly is all President Obama’s fault. Evidently his socialism is so toxic that it pollutes everything in the world, even spilling oil into your ice tea. If something bad happens, Obama’s fingerprints all over it. They can’t find his birth certificate because he is the anti-Christ. Just ask Rush.

Then again, if the White House gets a comb-over when Donald Trump is an apprentice president, the world will be all sunshine and lollipops.

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