Danger alert on Ash Wednesday! Loving America too passionately can turn you in a serial philander instead of a pillar of salt. Just ask poor Newt Gingrich

Happy Ash Wednesday everyone and I hope none of you are giving up the Zeke Blog for Lent — give up Baked Alaska in honor of Sarah Palin instead.

Actually, Newt Gingrich should give up being Newt Gingrich for Lent.

Just so you know, the serial presidential campaign flirter and serial groom left his cancer-stricken first wife for another lady who became his multiple sclerosis-stricken second wife he left for his current mistress-turned-third wife because he “was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them,” possibly because he “worked too hard” because he felt “passionately … about this country.”

Got all that, everyone?

Evidently the pressure of loving America so very much and working such long hours for each and every one of us forced Newt to philander from time to time. I guess Wal-Mart was out of stress relief balls whenever Newt shopped there.

Well, at least Newt didn’t leave America for New Guinea or Indonesia or some other hag country. I guess America is his one true mistress and he will be hitting on the Statute of Liberty any day now.

Granted, if Newt does run for president and somehow tilts the world on its axis by actually getting elected, his first lady actually would be his third lady.

And considering the health problems of his first two wives, I hope Wifey No. 3 gets an annual physical. Sounds like living with Newt can be toxic.

Advertisements