Well, a federal grand jury sure clubbed former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich into a convulsing heap today.
It convicted the Flimflam Man on 17 of 20 counts, finding he brazenly abused the powers of his office in a series of attempted shakedowns captured on undercover government recordings.
Blago heard the word “guilty” over and over again until his ears bled.
Now the dude who seemingly would barter with Beelzebub if given the chance is facing a maximum of 300 years in prison, although 8 to 12 years of incarceration seem more likely.
Apparently this jury had a higher IQ than the knuckleheads in his first trial.
This time the verdict was unequivocal, with the jury of 11 women and one man finding Blagojevich guilty on 17 criminal counts he faced, including charges of wire fraud, attempted extortion, bribery and conspiracy.
The marquee charge in the case, of course, involved an attempt by Blagojevich in late 2008 to cash in on his power to name a replacement in the U.S. Senate for newly elected President Obama.
So you could say they brought down the sky on Blagojevich, who otherwise would be as featureless as the wind if it weren’t for all his freaking hair and utter lack of ethics.
The jury at his first trial last summer found him guilty of lying to the FBI, though that panel of village idiots somehow deadlocked on all the other counts. That impasse set the stage for a retrial.
Now it could be fun to see what kind of spin the ever-delusional Blago puts on his disastrous day in court.