You gotta give Obama props for taking a wrecking ball to al-Qaeda

People rightfully may drone on about why President Obama couldn’t fix the economy even if Home Depot gave him a spiffy toolset.

But they can’t drone on about Obama not decimating al-Qaeda.

The killing of U.S.-born cleric Anwar al-Awlaki and another American militant propagandist in a U.S. drone strike today wipes out the decisive factor that made al-Qaeda’s branch in Yemen the most dangerous threat to the United States: its reach into the West.

The other American killed in the air strike, Samir Khan, published a slick English-language Web magazine, “Inspire,” that spouted al-Qaeda’s ideology of attacks on Westerners and even gave how-to manuals on how to carry one out — like an article titled, “Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom.”

Nice guy, huh?

Coupled with the May killing of Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, Obama has been a true superhero in fighting terrorism.

So why doesn’t he brag about it and start chest-bumping everybody in the Oval Office?

If George W. Bush had accomplished this, he would have worn out six pairs of jogging shoes taking a victory lap long enough to circle the globe.

Of course, already there are folks questioning the morality and ethics of assassinating, without due process, a U.S. citizen who has not been indicted for any crime and doing it in Yemen, where we are not currently waging war.

The reality is that the reality of today’s world of terror is no place to stage a morality play.

If you soon see robots chasing ambulances, you'll know that technology disbarred lawyers

OK, I realize that lawyers are not the most popular human species. This may because the only difference between a tick and a lawyer is that a tick falls off of you when you die. And did you know that sharks won’t attack lawyers out of professional courtesy?

Personally, I don’t have a problem with attorneys since almost everybody in my family except me is a lawyer. I am not one because (1) I’m allergic to expensive suits and (2) I never could pass a bar.

Which is why, unlike you, I’m upset that emerging technology could kill lawyers.

People simply will be able to use software instead of lawyers for their legal issues, which will save them a boatload of money. That’s because attorneys, like a school of sharks, often work in groups. For instance, it takes six lawyers to change a light bulb — one to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement.

Then again, if I’m a murder defendant, I’m not so sure I would trust my fate to a legal software program that could crash at any moment. Suddenly a public defender doesn’t look that bad, although they wear cheap suits.

You know, being a blogger, I live by technology. But technology does have a dark side. It steals jobs. Did you know that computers are getting so skillful with language that they now can write stories all by themselves?

If this suddenly becomes the I. Robot Blog, you’ll know why.

Sniper alert! Rick Perry quite at home on the range

Playing golf hardly relieves stress, especially if you constantly wind up in rough as thick as Rick Perry and you need a GPS to even find the greens.

In fact, most of the time the only hole worth playing is the 19th so you can drown all the stress that climbed up your aching spine on the course.

Not a problem for Perry. He indulges his itchy trigger finger at the gun range. Dick Cheney Redux.

Now that has to shoot holes in any stress incurred during Perry’s presidential debates when all the other candidates bully him.

“Well, I don’t play golf, this is my golf.” Perry said.

Besides, having a guy in the White House who can shoot back just might frighten al Qaeda, which certainly doesn’t develop jelly knees over a 9-iron

By the way, apparently a love for firearms isn’t the macho hobby you may think.

According to a new book by a female photographer with the sexist title of Chicks with Guns, an estimated 15 million to 20 million women in America own their own guns. Remember the old days when ladies bought pocketbooks?

Damned if I would call a heat-packing woman a chick and risk having my chest turned into so much Swiss cheese.

Guess Perry should score a bull’s-eye with the female electorate.

Fox News, which is sort of like the word of God, reports that Christie won't be a GOP heavyweight contender

There had been speculation percolating like an old coffee pot that Chris Christie was about to forgo his promise of suicide and plunge into the GOP presidential derby.
I could be superficial and crack that such a plunge by Christie likely would drain both the Atlantic and Pacific surrounding our coasts, not to mention the Great Lakes and the Mississippi River, and trigger tsunamis of flooding.
But I’m bigger than that. Of course, not as big as Christie.
Rumors about a possible Christie bid were spreading like wild fires in Texas under Rick “What Climate Change?” Perry when Christie yesterday vetoed the Snooki subsidy, a $420,000 tax credit for Jersey Shore.
You gotta love a governor who doesn’t want his state’s image to be a bunch of fist-pumping, spray-tanning, T-shirt-loving guidos and guidettes. Good for him. Because in most states, they throw out their garbage instead of making it into a reality TV show.
But Fox News, and I do believe in Fox News and its Biblical sanctity, reported today that Christie will not weigh in for president, at least in this election cycle.
A shame because Christie sure would have given the race Ben Franklin-like bolts of lightning and Allesandro Volta-like volts of vitality.
As well as — drum roll, please! — a gigantic splash.

All raise a mighty Hallelujah chorus! U.S. stocks spike on European hopes

Investors today had to drive their fingernails into their palms and wiggle their toes, just to prevent themselves from fainting dead away at the excitement of it all.
U.S. stocks got a God-knows-we-needed-this boost when it had its biggest rally in a month on speculation that European leaders will act to prevent a debt crisis from getting worse.
You suddenly gotta love those Europeans, even if some of their women don’t shave their armpits and their recent economic pratfalls have had toxic global implications.
The Dow jumped 272 points, or 2.5 percent, to 11,043. The S&P 500 rose 2.3 percent. All because a spokesman for the European Commission said that discussions were under way to extend the euro zone’s bailout fund.
Hope that spokesman’s words don’t prove hollow.

Vicktimized! Giants deal Eagles and their brittle QB a very bad hand

The dying light this Sunday eve takes time and memory for a ride.

Just recall when the Eagles were the Dream Team entering this season with Super Bowl or Bust scrawled across the franchise.

Now that signature after three mere games seems like so much graffiti. The Eagles have been trying to sell us for years that they are the gold standard of franchises. Now it seems they couldn’t sell bread in a famine.

The Birds are a shocking 1-2 and Michael Vick has a broken right hand after getting bushwhacked today in their home opener by the battered Giants 29-16.

So much for Michelangelo painting the Eagles’ 2011 team portrait and hanging it on the Vatican ceiling.

Today’s game for the Eagles was like a bout with pneumonia. It took your breath away. It was a more disgusting public spectacle than watching a hanging.

Put this terrible defeat in context: Compared to the Giants, Custer was even money. Of course, perhaps the boys in Vegas underestimated New York. It’s sort of like jazz. The better it is, the less people appreciate it.

Eli Manning uncorked four touchdown passes, two of them to somebody named Victor Cruz who only got to play because the Giants have lost more receivers than Obama has popularity.

Linebacker Casey Matthews, safety Kurt Coleman and All-Universe cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha all had coverage issues.

Vick started despite suffering a concussion in last week’s 35-31 loss at Atlanta. He left with a broken right hand in the fourth quarter today after helping the Eagles overcome a 14-0 first-quarter deficit to take a 16-14 lead.

There was no immediate word on how much time Vick will miss with his latest injury. He played one series after getting X-rayed. Vick has a non-displaced fracture and will have a CT scan Monday.
He does throw with his left hand, but a quarterback has to take snaps and hand off the ball, too. So whatever type of cast the medics craft, it could give Vick the touch of a butcher and not a surgeon.
Once again, he took a lot of punishment as the Giants certainly didn’t throw a no-hitter. No wonder Vick’s best friend these days is the Red Cross. As long as he plays this game, it likely ever will be thus. Hitting in the NFL is like sin. It’s too popular to abolish completely.
Vick never looked comfortable even before he got hurt. He absorbed a number of big hits, never got into a rhythm and couldn’t get the ball down the field.
He has yet to display the magic of last year. In fact, that magic vanished about midseason a year ago. The rabbit is back in the hat.
After the game, Vick apparently was still groggy from his concussion when he called out the zebras.

He complained that NFL officials allow him to be hit more, and hit later, than other quarterbacks.

Dumb move, Michael.

First, his playing style and penchant for sticking his noise into the thunder likely make him more vulnerable than any perceived bias by the men in stripes. Second, the officials won’t take kindly to being accused of playing favorites.

Vick when he returns now may be even more of a human piñata. Not a smart move by him to put an even bigger target on his back. The bull’s-eye will replace his No. 7, hurting the merchandise sales of his uniform.
What was memorable about this game from the Eagles’ perspective, and I say that fearing I may tear a labrum in reaching for something that should not be burned along with the game films, is that Andy Reid mounted a ground-oriented attack for the first time in his rotund life. Perhaps because Vick still was foggy from his concussion and because Shady McCoy, who rushed for 128 yards, is too good to be grounded.
Speaking of strategy, Reid sure as hell went down gambling in the fourth quarter. Facing a fourth down and 1 on the Giants’ 43, up two points with less than 12 minutes left, and knowing his defense had bottled up New York for nearly two quarters, he went for it.
And it blew up in his face like a Roman candle.
The Eagles were dropped for a 3-yard loss. The Giants used that great field position to score a touchdown and take a 22-16 lead with 8:07 left.
Then again, on game days, nobody has ever confused Reid with Napoleon. Granted, with his team and season unraveling faster than rayon, Reid’s scheme henceforth just may be to shell a team for three days with the howitzers and then send in the infantry.

I was so bored by the GOP presidential debate that I started watching paint dry just for kicks

OK, maybe it has been forever or maybe longer since JFK set the gold standard for presidential debates.

Granted, it helped that he was charismatic, tanned and handsome while Nixon was a whiter shade of pale and forgot to shave.

The Republicans had another go at it last night and suffice to say, it was not as thrilling as a Six Flags amusement ride.

The only way these folks are gonna send an electric charge through every seat is if they buy generators. In bulk.

The GOP needs a Caruso to hit all the high notes against President Obama but right now all they’ve got are lounge singers.

Again it was Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and the rest.

While it’s becoming more obvious than Lady Gaga’s wardrobe that Perry hardly is the master debater, Romney didn’t knock him out. Or vice versa. Perhaps one of them should have hired Floyd Mayweather as a hit man.

Apparently, unless Chris Christie suddenly gets skinny or Sarah Palin miraculously gets brainy, Obama just might become the first president to ever be reelected while tethered to a tanking economy.

Shipwrecked stocks stabilize somewhat this morning but the comatose economy is eating our young

Just when things seemed darker than Johnny Cash’s closet, the U.S. stock market hasn’t been a disaster so far today. The Dow was trading less than 1 percent lower at midmorning.

But fears of a Greek default — and just where is Zorba when you need him? — continue to create more anxiety than Alfred Hitchcock once did.

Of course, looking at Thursday’s coyote-ugly economic numbers was enough to turn your eyes into lumps of coal.

Rising fear that the world is headed toward a global economic slowdown/meltdown had investors hitting the sell button so violently yesterday they developed blisters on their forefingers.

U.S. stocks plunged like Mexican cliff divers Thursday, closing down 390 points, or 3.5 percent, after hitting their lowest point this year.

At one point the Dow was down more than 5 percent and dropped as much as 527 points late in the trading session.

At this point, just talking about this fiscal apocalypse tastes like Drano in my mouth. At this rate I hope I still have enough money in my investments to buy a cigarette and a blindfold.

For young American adults, there is no rainbow in sight because they’re going blind with poverty.

Their unemployment rate is the highest since World War II, and they risk living in poverty more than others — nearly 1 in 5.

It seems the only way this lost generation can find themselves is to become pro athletes, singers, rock guitarists or reality TV stars.

Are Republicans a bunch of predators?

Those who follow politics like Joe Willie Namath use to follow blondes may have noticed that Republicans make Democrats want to stab two fondue forks deep into their ears and stir.

Granted, the feeling likely is mutual.

Still, there are times I sense that Republicans can be obstructionists. In fact, I suspect that they’re the leading cause of Tylenol sales in America today.

Whenever President Obama and the Democrats try to do something to keep the economy from getting a toe tagged at the morgue, they catch a javelin in the groin. And it’s the GOP flinging it.

Case in point: The Republican BIG Four — John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor and Jon Kyl — sent a letter to Fed chair Ben Bernanke warning him against further intervention in the economy. They released the letter the day before the Fed is to announce its next steps this afternoon.

“We have serious concerns,” the letter said, “that further intervention by the Federal Reserve could exacerbate current problems or further harm the U.S. economy.”

What they really meant, of course, is that they have serious concerns that an interventionist monetary policy might help the economy in the next 14 months, and thereby help Barack Obama’s reelection chances.

Par for the course, I might add. All along the Repubs have been throwing up more roadblocks than PennDOT, ensuring that the federal government can’t do anything via legislation to spur economic growth and activity.

Yes, the Dems need to take pruning shears to federal spending. And yes, the rich do pay most of the taxes. But the GOP can’t keep going above and beyond self-serving insanity to tank the economy just so that Obama gets dumped next year.

Is it just me or does all this sound like 100,000 yaks getting sick?

Is Michele Bachmann dead meat?

Every picture tells a story, according to noted philosopher Rod Stewart.

A picture is worth a thousand words, according to designers everywhere who work with verbose copywriters.

So I will be brief in merely saying that this photo of Michele Bachmann touring an Iowa meat packing plant just might pack in her presidential run. No way she gets the vegetarian vote now.

After all, we all remember how absurd Michael Dukakis looked in a tank and helmet and how silly John Kerry looked in a space suit. As I recall, neither of them became president.

The moral of the story: For a candidate, image is more important than breathing.