Obama's stimulus bill likely will end up in more pieces than Humpty Dumpty

The White House today insisted that the president’s new jobs bill be considered as a single piece of legislation when it is formally introduced next week. Like that’s gonna happen. I’ve got a better chance of walking on the moon in flip-flops.

Republicans are going to take pruning shears to it and opt to consider it in components.

Tarantino bloodbaths have been less gory.

Up to his clavicles in desperation, President Obama kicked off his road trip today to campaign for his $447 billion — dare I say? — stimulus package.

By dumb luck he was in Richmond, which is in Eric Cantor’s district. Pure coincidence I’m sure. Up next is Ohio, John Boehner’s home state. Again, who knew?

Speaking of Boehner, he clapped only twice after Obama’s speech last night, the statutory minimum for being House Speaker.

And was it just me, but did Boehner’s eyes look as glazed as a Krispy Kreme?

By the way, Wall Street slumped more than an old man today, in part because investors are more skeptical than vice cops about how much of Obama’s plan will make through Congress before everybody in America is out of work.