David Copperfield tried to make 747s disappear. Big deal. Can he make Andy Reid disappear?
Reid has been the Eagles’ coach since the Chinese invented fireworks and while he did reach about a zillion NFC title games, he reached only one Super Bowl — and lost it.
Now maybe he has totally lost it.
The Eagles plummeted to 1-3 today after blowing a 23-3 lead early in the third quarter to wind up stumbling and fumbling and humbling to the Niners 24-23 at the Linc.
No Supe for Philly, even if it did spend 7.4 billion signing free agents in the offseason. It was Reid’s job to assemble all these high-priced parts. But he’s been all thumbs installing all the nuts and bolts. Didn’t he have an erector set as kid? Or build model cars?
The Birds have about as much interest in playing defense than a blind man has in rainbows. They couldn’t beat an egg with that collection of defensive players and those schemes under rookie defensive coordinator Juan Castillo, who as a defensive coordinator was an excellent OL coach.
The Eagles can’t stop anybody. The 49ers — ranked dead last in the league in offense coming into the game — drove 80, 77 and 77 yards to finish the game with 21 straight points against a defense that plays chess as if it’s playing Chinese marbles.
The linebacker switch (from Casey Matthews to Brian Rolle) and the safety switch (from Kurt Coleman to Nate Allen) didn’t do squat. Nnamdi Asomugah, the free-agent cornerback with more money than Greece and parts of Europe, suddenly plays like so much chump change. If it weren’t for Jason Babin and his three sacks, the Green D couldn’t stop the Oley Valley High School debate team from scoring.
And while their offense amassed enough yards today to take them halfway to Mars, the Eagles certainly lack a piranha’s appetite in the red zone.
To sum up their severe allergies to reaching the end zone inside the 20, Ronnie Brown somehow tried to throw a ball to no one while being stopped near the goal line on a running play and losing a fumble. Knute Rockne and the Gipper must have had a few graveyard chuckles over that.
Michael Vick threw for a career-high 416 yards and ran for another 75 while DeSean Jackson had six catches for 171 yards, and none of that mattered. Sadly.
How’s this for some stats that are harder to swallow than Brussels sprouts with Drano chasers?
This was the first time in the Eagles’ 79-year history they’ve blown fourth-quarter leads in three consecutive games.
The Eagles have been outscored 36-0 in the fourth quarter in the three consecutive losses.
It was only the fourth time in franchise history the Eagles blew a 17-point halftime lead.
The Eagles netted 513 yards of offense,19th-most in franchise history and second-most in franchise history in a game they lost.
Alex Henery, the rookie brought in to replace David Akers, missed two routine field goals in Akers’ homecoming — costing the Eagles points that could have iced the game colder than a tailgate beer cooler. Henery might have gotten another shot but with the Eagles driving, Jeremy Maclin snagged a nifty 17-yard pass/run, got caught from behind by defensive tackle Justin Smith, and stripped of the ball.
Stripping all of the Eagles’ and Reid’s warts naked.
Even the diseased lower intestine of a rhino would be a prettier sight.