The Eagles are so bad at football they've turned to limbo to see how low they can go

The Eagles, my friends, certainly have stepped into a world of deep doo-doo. One and four. With four straight losses. Yep, things pretty much have gone into the crapper.

They’re living in the NFC East basement and at this rate, soon they will be living in the doorway of an abandoned building.
The Eagles hit the road to Buffalo and went splat yet again, this time 31-24 to the Bills. The Birds played such a berserk game today, you wonder if any of them finished elementary school.
Turnovers, dumb penalty after dumb penalty, missed tackles, horrible play-calling, shoddy game management. A defense that keeps getting crushed like old peanut shells, repeatedly split like a cantaloupe left out too long in the sun.
And while their offense at times features dancers who move like a clarinet glissando, their self-destruction blows all that up. The Eagles squandered a 489-yard offensive day and an 8.2-yard average gain per play.
The Eagles played totally out of control. They’re so helter-skelter you wonder if they’re playing on crank. They’ve lost their way and their identity as a tough-minded and fundamentally sound football team. Its almost as if some monster bit off their heads and sucked out their lungs.
What are they feeding these guys for their daily nourishment? Thin gruel? They’re weak, man.
The Eagles need to put Superglue on their hands and gloves. They’ve turned it over a whopping 14 times the last four weeks. A truck-stop waitress isn’t that sloppy. No wonder they’re 1-4 for the first time since 1999.
And the first shall be last.
By the way, yours truly picked the Eagles to win today. I was hardly alone. The boys in Vegas, like me, failed to realize that the Eagles would fail to execute, thus executing themselves and us. The 1-3 Eagles were favored on the road against the 3-1 Bills, reportedly the first time that unlikely betting line has played out in 23 years in the NFL.
I’ve got a hunch the Birds won’t be favored in this coming Sunday’s division game at Washington.