Gadhafi is killed with with his boots on and his hat off

Moammar Gadhafi already had hit a dead end in Libya. Now he’s just dead.

Gadhafi, who when he wasn’t playing lawn darts ruled Libya with a dictatorial grip for 42 years until he was ousted by rebels in a bloody civil war, was killed today when revolutionary forces overwhelmed his hometown, Sirte, the last major bastion of resistance two months after the regime fell.

Personally, I’m glad this nutball is dead because nobody apparently knew how to spell his name. This has driven media types crazy for years. For instance, I say Gadhafi, you say Gaddafi. Others says Gathafi or Kadafi or Gadafy.

And it’s not just his last name that has scholars and journalists more confused than if you dropped them into a gigantic Halloween corn maze. Take his first name. I say Moammar and you say Muammar.

No wonder whatever-his-name was such a weird dude. Actually, I think his name probably was Harry “The Hat” Monster, aka The Mad Hatter.

Yep, not only was this guy a weird dude, he was a bad dude. He evidently was only generous to his haberdasher, who judging by Gadhafi’s bizarre costumes, was equally as insane.

Hangover in Vegas blossoms a killer headache with today's sunrise after last night's GOP Destruction Derby

The Republican presidential candidates are suffering one hellacious hangover today after last night’s holocaust of a debate.

Fight Night in Las Vegas. They should have put this donnybrook on PPV and raised election funds.

Everybody was beating up on Herman Cain, whose simplistic 9-9-9 plan doesn’t add up except for the tax bite that definitely would add up and add up and add up if you’re middle class trending toward serfdom.

Mitt Romney and Rick Perry went at it at hammer and tong, landing enough heavy shots to split a tree. The fact that neither one of their skulls split makes one wonder how thick-headed they are.

It was great entertainment watching the two get so up close and personal, flicking snake tongues at each other — whoo-eet! whoo-eet! Even Ali in his prime didn’t have that fast of a jab.

The collateral damage from this Battle Royal? President Obama won. The incumbent had to be happier than a kid locked up in an ice cream store to watch the Republicans build pyramids of hurt upon one another.

The slugfest left all of them with more lumps than Joe Frazier after the Thrilla in Manila and left Romney looking petty, Perry looking desperate and Cain looking like a guy clinging to his flawed plan as if it were a life preserver (which it’s not).

If all the current contenders continue this barbaric assault, they soon may have to send out for body bags. The attrition rate soon may rival that of the Roman Colosseum, except those guys bled in Latin, not English.

With a damaged Obama ripe for the plucking, seems like a fatal mistake for Republicans to turn to cannibalism.

Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street may party traditional Democrats and Republicans into hung-over has-beens

The two main parties in America used to be the Democrats and Republicans, except for those halcyon nights in the 1960s when Hef was throwing a party at the Playboy Mansion.
Of course, neither the Dems, GOP or Hef are the party animals they used to be.
Now we got the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street muscling it on the party scene. Party on, Garth!
Granted, some folks already are noticing an overlap between the messages of the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street. That overlap in a nutshell is that both sides, one coming from the right and the other from the left, think the government sucks. They’re mad as hell and aren’t gonna take it anymore.
That even dawned on Barack Obama today. The president is trying to suck up to Occupy Wall Street, at least from a safe distance since some of the protesters lack personal hygiene skills, in a desperate attempt to tap into its energy to jolt his progressive base back to life.
And now comes word that an activist who helped ignite Egypt’s Facebook revolution is an adviser to Occupy Wall Street.
Man, don’t you all just love a party? Don’t turn out the lights, because these two new parties ain’t over!

Obama to dice and mince American Jobs Act so he can shove it piece by piece down gagging Republican throats

You remember President Obama’s American Jobs Act, of course. He addressed Congress on it and even the networks and other media outlets mentioned it. The whole thing had more drama than Broadway, if I recall.

Obama’s speech apparently fell on deaf ears in Congress. The bill sat around getting dusty for a bit, and seemingly suffocated last week in the Senate when only 51 Democrats voted to bring it up for debate and that was rather wimpy in the face of the Republican filibuster.

Even though Americans are screaming for jobs and the left is protesting all across the land, even Reading, as if the 1960s came back to life without the great rock music, Republicans suddenly are against positions of the bill that broad swaths of the party have supported in the past.

The White House built the jobs bill with pieces of legislation that had been previously supported by leading Republicans so that the Obama administration could hammer them with those past votes and statements, making the case that the GOP’s opposition to jobs legislation is rooted in pure politics.

Which, astonishingly, it is.

So frustrated over this that his upper back and neck have more knots than a den of Eagle Scouts and my gym sneaker laces, Obama, with a backdrop of blue sky in these stormy times, said today that “maybe they couldn’t understand the whole thing at once.” So, to do Congress a favor, “we’re going to break it up into bite-sized pieces, so they can take a thoughtful approach.”

About time, Mr. President. What took you so long? Preoccupied with Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 and galvanic personality? People said from Day One that the bill was way too sprawling. If you print it out, you need a nearby oak tree to supply enough paper to replenish your printer. Not to mention going through only-God-knows-how-many print cartridges. Sort of like the Obamacare bill, come to think of it.

Granted, chopping the American Jobs Act up into small bites may facilitate the GOP digestive tract, which seemingly has been paralyzed by indigestion. Still, Obama is gambling that Republicans will be able to then piece it all together like some gigantic puzzle. Don’t hold your breath unless you have your favorite funeral home on speed dial.

In the midst of all the desperate and raucous clamor for jobs, don’t you find all this is rather puzzling, if not downright demoralizing?

Perhaps it’s time to replace our hobbled democratic system with a benevolent, enlightened monarchy. King Herman I strike anyone’s fancy? King Rush I? Queen Rachel I? Or how about King Zeke I? Of course, I wouldn’t want to work weekends during football season.

Eagles stop the wailing by playing Picky Picky Head by The Wailing Souls reggae band

Just when you thought that the Eagles’ entire franchise somehow fell into a crater bigger than the Grand Canyon, the Birds somehow found a way to climb out of it today. Barely.

After losing even more this season than the human blimps on The Biggest Loser, they rang up a 20-0 lead and then hung out to pick off the Redskins 20-13 at FedEx Field in Landover.

Pick off being the operative words Sunday as Philly intercepted Bad Bad Rex Grossman four times, three by Kurt Coleman in a dramatic return to the starting lineup at safety after being benched for playing like a stuffed sausage.

The last Eagle to have three picks in one game was Joe Scarpati against the Giants in 1966. I remember watching that game as a toddler in my high chair after getting spanked by my dad for messing with his hedge fund.

Speaking of really dialing it back in the Way Back Machine, it was darn good the Eagles won today. This was more of a must than breathing. It’s been 41 years since an NFL team made the playoffs after a 1-5 start. It was a different game back then. Playing it in HD was against the rules.

Besides getting a big hand from Grossman, the Birds won today because yours truly picked them, they kept their turnovers below 75 for the first time this season, their OL and run defense finally looked more like the Seven Blocks of Granite than the Marshmallow Party Mascots, and corners Nnamdi Asomugha and Asante Samuel actually tackled Redskins instead of oleing them. Imagine that.
So after a bye, I guess the Dream Team’s Rolling Carnival will gain full steam and stop Iggles Nation disciples from swallowing lawn darts in despair. But who knows? After all, that’s why they play the game.

After getting cut from his high school debate team and in a MMA brawl to tap out Cain, Romney and Obama, Perry vows to tap energy to create 1.2 million jobs

While Herman raises Cain, Rick Perry is trying to raze Cain.
With Herman Cain flashing past Perry and hot on the rear bumper of Mitt Romney, thanks to his simplistic vision that could bore a hole in a vault, Perry is on the offensive.
Now that everybody knows that Perry ain’t no master debater, he apparently is a master creator when it comes to jobs. Or so he says.
Taking a page from the Cain 9-9-9 laser-focus message, Perry rolled out his Drill Baby Drill laser-focus message today.
Speaking at a steel plant near Pittsburgh, he said he could create 1.2 million jobs by rolling back federal regulations and opening up more areas for oil and gas exploration.
Perry is all about energy and said he would repeal the EPA’s authority over greenhouse-gas regulations, too. Evidently he’s not all about the ozone layer and our lungs.
This guy wants to drill so badly he should have been a mad dentist. And unlike Barack Obama, he sure isn’t green at the gills.

We don't have to travel the highway of hell to road rage and congestion if we go with the flow

Allow me to take a break from politics for a moment and draw a bead on bad driving from my PC.

Driver Ed, courtesy of Zeke.

A disclaimer is in order here: My wife hates how I drive. Says I drive too fast and like oxygen, I’m all over the place. Perhaps so. But I can handle the wheel like one of Joie Chitwood’s Hell Drivers. If you’re not familiar with Joie Chitwood, who performed so long ago at the Reading Fairgrounds that the local papers were forced to refer to them as Joie Chitwood’s Heck Drivers, he did not drive like the little old lady from Pasadena.

OK, do you know what’s wrong with driving today? Granted, crummy roads, urban and suburban sprawl, and more congestion than an emergency room full of pneumonia victims don’t help. But the real problem is drivers. Just look in the rearview mirror. Not at approaching traffic. At you.

Drivers make driving more treacherous and frustrating than wrestling your way through a Keats poem. Why? Because some drive too fast while others drive too slow. Both are the culprits in slowing traffic and revving up congestion.

Studies have shown this ground truth of traffic: Sometimes you have to go slower to go faster.

For every dolt slowing down traffic on an interstate doing 50 in the passing lane and refusing to budge short of taking a direct hit from an impatient SUV or a rocket launcher, there’s a wimp and/or nervous Nelly doing 20 in the right lane. Not to mention those fast and furious NASCAR wannabes who do 120 no matter what lane they’re in.

The result of all this? Furious weaving, the sudden squalls of brake lights, and fate waiting behind the next curve with an eel poised to pounce on your windshield.

Rolling speed harmonization holds that by encouraging speed compliance and reducing speed differential between vehicles, volume throughout can be maximized without a physical increase in roadway dimensions.

Cops must enforce that everybody drive at the same speed, whether it’s 65 or 55, like we’re all on a NASCAR pace lap.

Big speed differentials not only create chaos and congestion, they’re dangerous. Crashes are not related as much to speed as to the range in speeds from the highest to lowest. Studies show that, regardless of the average speed on the highway, the more a vehicle deviates from the average speed, the greater its chances of becoming involved in a crash.

Nobody wants to die in a horrific crash. Like I always say, a brush with a bodacious lady is always more appealing than a brush with an unthinkably agonizing death. There’s no reason we all should risk our skin on the road just because most of us drive like morons.

We gotta stop be dumber than fish, birds, cattle and elephants — most of whom never graduate high school. Flocks of birds and schools of fish and herds of cattle or elephants don’t travel with alarming deviations from the group’s average speed and crash into one another with ridiculous regularity.

Yep, unlike politics, we’re all in this together.