It’s tough to live in Mississippi.
For starters, they fry a lot of brain cells for life trying to learn how to spell Mississippi in kindergarten.
Other brain cells get burned off by swampy, suffocating heat that melts two-lane blacktop like Scarlett Johansson melts hearts.
There’s a reason why there are no Ivy League schools in Mississippi.
There’s a reason why flag football players count “One-Mississippi, Two-Mississippi, Three-Mississippi” before they rush the quarterback.
And now this!
Folks in Mississippi gotta be scared to walk down the street, fearful they may be shot dead like possums or skunks or other rebel critters lamenting the loss of The War for Southern Independence.
Mississippi’s attorney general Jim Hood said today that the state may order a nationwide manhunt to find the four convicted murderers pardoned by outgoing governor Haley Barbour Tuesday.
“We’ll catch ’em,” said Hood. “It’s just a matter of time.”
The four were freed in one of Barbour’s last acts as governor — pardoning more than 200 convicted criminals.
Granted, a lot of governors do the same. But Barbour took this to an absurd other level. Like to Mars!
Late Wednesday night a Mississippi judge halted 21 of the pardons issued after Hood filed to halt some of the reprieves based on a provision in the state Constitution that insists pardons must be published at least 30 days in advance.
Barbour, who had considered a presidential run but thank God thought better otherwise, said they were given pardons so they could move on with their lives.
“Approximately 90 percent of these individuals were no longer in custody,” he said. “The pardons were intended to allow them to find gainful employment or acquire professional licenses as well as hunt and vote.”
Nothing like giving a convicted murderer a license to kill on the hunting trail. Because you never know just who or what he may be hunting.