On holiday from American politics, I find myself across the pond hanging out with the Queen and Francois Hollande while steering clear of Putin

I needed a break from American politics because it was messing with my serenity and what’s left of my sanity.

So I split for Europe, where I yawned today when I learned that Rick Santorum folded like a carpenter’s ruler and backed Mitt Romney — a guy during the primary season Righteous Rick castigated as the anti-Christ.

Let me be the first to say that politics makes for strange bedfellows.

No wonder that Russians do it right with sham elections, with Vladimir Putin playing musical chairs with the presidential and prime minister seats.

Wonder if anybody ever called Putin a pansy?

I’m in London where I will address Parliament tomorrow right after the Queen does. Do you know they take the Royal Crown in a separate carriage in front of the Queen? Beauty before age, I guess. No word on whether the Queen drinks Crown Royal en route.

Yesterday I played water polo with Prince William and Harry, then played bridge with Kate and Pippa. Followed by some arm wrestling where I took two-of-three falls from Prince Philip, who doesn’t look a day over 129.

Did you know that the mayor of Moscow lives in London and commutes to work?

Did you also know that nobody in London wears a watch? They just glance at Big Ben.

Saw the Tower of London today, where a lot of you apparently would love to put President Obama.

Then I’m off to Paris to meet with new French president Francois Hollande, who was named after a salad dressing, to discuss the merits of socialism and join him in a toast to Obama.

Hollande already has ripped Great Britain for not caring about the euro and only caring about London.

Of course, the Brits prefer the pound over the euro. Tradition runs in their DNA. And London has the Crown Jewels, which I got to try on at the Tower of London before they put me on the rack. Which was less painful than watching the GOP debates.