May Day! Dow tanks over puny jobs report

Forgive my belated report on this but I was busy discussing Greek literature with the Kardashian sisters over tea this afternoon at The Corner House …
Making sense of the monthly jobs reports isn’t harder to decipher than a trig textbook.
The numbers simply tell us each month that we’re going to hell with a seat next to the furnace.
Suffice it to say that after seeing May’s numbers today, the economy has a very good chance of soon migrating from the ICU to the morgue. Orderly alert: Man the stretcher!
Wall Street indeed was as solemn as a funeral home today as investors dumped stocks as if they were radioactive following a jobs report more crummy than a muffin. The Dow fell 2.2%, closing down 275 points.
That drop leaves the Dow with a loss of 0.8% for 2012. Earlier this year, the blue-chip average was up more than 8%. Awww, those fat cat days were fleeting and just a cruel tease.
The market is tethered to psychology and today’s job report had investors calling either Dr. Freud or Dr. Phil.
So what’s the bass line behind these sorry-a$$ numbers?
Well, a job market treading quicksand with legs growing heavier.
Only 69,000 jobs were added in May, a pathetic number made it even weaker by revised data for March and April that subtracted another 50,000 jobs.
The unemployment rate crept up to 8.2 percent from 8.1 percent, leaving the economy stuck in second gear and hoping not to cough into a stall.
The gloomy picture unfortunately seems destined to grow darker in an election year as Republicans and Mitt Romney pile on President Obama for this god-awful mess and partisan gridlock remains parked on the Adam’s apple of a comatose recovery.