Romney admits his campaign is vetting Rubio

OK, so much for media reports. Apparently some news sources don’t hit .968. Even Ty Cobb couldn’t and word is the old Georgia Peach was no great shakes with an iPad either.

Mitt Romney said today that his campaign is “thoroughly vetting” Marco Rubio as it searches for a running mate despite reports that the Florida senator is not being considered.

Of course, I wouldn’t be as startled as finding a dead polar bear in my basement if the Romney campaign began vetting Rubio just to show the media just who has their hands on the steering wheel.

Of course, vetting a vice presidential prospect is slightly more important to a presidential candidate than drawing his next breath.

Remember the witless Sarah Palin? John McCain wishes he couldn’t.

Remember the nutty Tom Eagleton. Next to garnering only two votes in 1972, he was George McGovern’s biggest regret.

So Romney’s staff is vetting Rubio to make sure the dude doesn’t have any skeletons sharing space with his expensive suits in his closet.

Embarrassing things like walking down church aisles in flippers and a snorkel. Tossing rigatoni noodles at young children and old cocker spaniels. Hanging out in strip clubs with Mormon dancers.

After all, a creep running for veep is a hard sell in America’s heartland.

Rubio is an attractive choice to share the ticket. Unlike Romney, the Republican base likes Rubio. And Hispanic voters obviously would totally forget that Barack Obama is sucking up to them if Rubio joined the ticket.

One fly in the ointment — and has anyone ever seen a fly actually land on ointment? — is that Rubio has repeatedly denied any interest in running for the White House with Romney.

Never let details get in the way of a good story.