On Democrats and Republicans actually making a deal, the floundering Phillies, the flagging Phelps and the corpuscle-popping excitement of synchronized diving

Nothing lasts forever, unless you’re reading a book by Friedrich Nietzsche.
Take today, for instance. It soon will morph into tomorrow. And I can’t wait for tomorrow because I get better looking every day.
But before we bid adieu to today, let’s point out three sea changes it has wrought:
One, the Democrats and Republicans actually can agree on something besides their mutual distrust. Congressional leaders made a deal to continue funding the government through March 2013 – meaning that Uncle Sam won’t have to ask Mitt Romney for a loan.
Two, the Phillies finally admitted they have run down like a $2 alarm clock. After downshifting like Vin Diesel all season, they dumped salary by shipping Shane Victorino to the Dodgers and Hunter Pence to the Giants for household names only in their own houses. In the wake of the housecleaning, Woody Allen is playing right field and hitting fifth tonight.

Three, Michael Phelps has gone from swimming victory laps to circling the drain. He blew a gold medal in the 200-meter butterfly, but his silver was his record-tying 18th career medal. Like Nietzsche said, nothing is black and white — only beige.
Finally, as tomorrow prepares to dawn in a few, fleeting hours, synchronized diving now is all the rage in lunatic asylums. It has to be the most pointless endeavor since the Brits invented dwarf tossing.