NASA skyrockets back to semi-relevance with Curiosity, which discovers that not-so-intelligent life on Mars is sadly just like ours

NASA obviously was sweating silver rockets over this high-stakes Mars mission. The pressure was enough to curl what’s left of John Glenn’s hair.
After all, many folks consider NASA to be as irrelevant as covered wagons now that the glamour and a chunk of government funding of space travel have disappeared along with flying carpets and Ray Walston, aka My Favorite Martian.
NASA must have a magician on the payroll because it pulled this robotic rabbit out of a hat. After all, 70 percent of previous Mars missions had whiffed a la Ryan Howard.
In the greatest show of technological wizardry since my mom learned to use her iPad, the explorer Curiosity, sans Captain Kirk, zipped through the pink skies of Mars and steered itself to a gentle landing inside a giant crater early this morning here on Earth East Coast time.
NBC will air the landing on tape delay once it is finished airing the Olympics on tape delay.
Curiosity is the most ambitious dig yet into the Red Planet, a former Soviet satellite, in the never-ending search for extraterrestrial life – whether it be Martians or funky toadstools or Karl Rove clones.
And guess what? Already Curiosity has found intelligent life on Mars. Apparently Martians aren’t green after all. They are either red (the conservatives) or blue (the liberals). And they absolutely loathe each other and want to exile each other to Uranus.
All this rancor centers on a philosophical dispute over government spending. Funny thing is Mars has no government.
Politics aside, Curiosity quickly discovered that lax gun controls on Mars have thinned the planet’s population from 638 billion to 43,052 in the past decade.
Not only that, the Martian economy is light years away from being robust.
The unemployment rate is an astonishing 99.97 percent now that George Lucas and Gene Roddenberry no longer film Star Wars and Stark Trek there and Flash Gordon/Buster Crabbe no longer shops there.
Imagine that? The $2.5 billion Curiosity mission came in $900 million over budget and all we find is that intelligent life on Mars is as partisan, violent and poor as that on Earth.
Nevertheless, buoyant NASA officials celebrated by gobbling Milky Ways.

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