Fright game! Romney and Obama trying to scare Americans into believing that the other guy has more ways to hose you than a swindler

Presidential campaigns seldom have a Mary Poppins flavor to them.

But the current one seems to be particularly wallowing in fear-mongering.

If you watch WWE or MMA or demolition derbies, you gotta have your eyes Superglued to this race.

If you watch Say Yes to the Dress, this campaign is enough to make you hurl all over your TV screen.

Both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are portraying the other in ways intended to leave terrified Americans wetting their pants and leaving their knees knocking like bongo drums.

No wonder adult diaper sales have skyrocketed 139 percent in recent months. Just a shame that’s not enough to skyrocket the economy, too.

Romney and the Republicans are attacking Obama’s record in the White House — hammering home the message that this guy is a bad, bad, bad, bad president.

Obama and the Democrats in turn are zeroing in like kamikaze pilots on Romney’s unlikability, his incense-spewing adoration to vulture capitalism and his inordinate inability to relate to everyday Americans — sending the message that this guy is a bad guy.

The problem is I’m starting to believe they’re both bad. Perhaps we should vote both of them into office (assuming there can be a flat-footed tie in the Electoral College vote).

Then again, a blend of a bad president and a bad man definitely would be bad news.