Ouch! George W. more popular than Mitt

Remember George W. Bush?

I don’t blame you if you don’t, since he seems to have disappeared into the witness protection program.

But apparently a lot of Americans do recall him, and do so fondly.

I guess time, like sutures, does heal.

A Bloomberg News National poll released today shows that the 43rd president has a higher favorability rating than Mitt Romney.

Romney polled at a 43 percent favorable and 50 percent unfavorable, compared to a 46 percent favorable rating and a 49 percent unfavorable rating for Bush.

Just wondering if Romney right now would love to vanish into the witness protection program.

With Obama surging, the right is crawling into a delusional bunker

It is vividly apparent that the folks on the right now inhabit a world where they are willing prisoners of delusion.

With Obama’s lead in several swing states verging on the insurmountable, the right has begun to panic like a guy suddenly confronting a tiger in his shower stall.

Frightened witless, they deny reality altogether.

They claim all polls are bogus, except for the far right Rasmussen poll.

Right-windy pundits like Dick Morris and Rush Limbaugh, their ego going amuck, are screeching their denial while harpooning the liberal media for being the biggest culprit since Lucifer broke out of heaven.

They, along with many of you on this blog, shiver with revulsion at an Obama sequel in the White House, as if a snake had just crawled across their breakfast plate.

How else to explain the absence of lucidity or logic? The abduction of rationality?

They staunchly refuse to admit that this election won’t really come down to the economy, jobs, and the screwballs in the Middle East.

This election has one pivotal focal point: Americans like Obama. They don’t like Romney. And they really don’t like Ryan.

No time for R&R for the R&R boys in Ohio

I don’t know what it is about Ohio but it ranks slightly ahead of breathing for Republican presidential candidates.
No Republican has won the White House without it. You can look it up. It’s in all the history books.
So Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are double-teaming the state, kicking off a two-day bus tour today through the Buckeye State.
It’s the first time they have campaigned together since the convention. No word on whether Clint Eastwood or his empty chair also are on the bus.
Romney and Ryan were greeted by some bad news, a new Washington Post poll giving President Obama an eight-point lead in the state.
Perhaps that is not calamitous for the R&R team. Polls, in this day of fewer landlines and more cell phones, are a wildly capricious enterprise.
Granted, to avoid a possible fricasseeing, Romney and Ryan will pat a lot of toddlers, kiss a lot of babies, brag how they donate to the glee club, swear they greet the world with open arms, and promise they will deliver so many good times to Ohio they’ll need to hire a fleet of UPS trucks.

Lecturing world leaders at the U.N. and charming the ladies on The View all in a day’s (sort of) work for Obama

President Obama can display some nifty and nimble versatility at times.
The serious Obama addressed the opening session of the United Nations General Assembly today where he warned world leaders that they would rather floss their teeth with a jackhammer than deal with a Mitt Romney presidency.
Obama also challenged world leaders, many of whom have concrete pilings for brains and hearts, to confront the forces of intolerance and extremism within their own countries and permit more freedom at home.
Granted, there’s about as much chance of that happening as there is of Barry Goldwater descending from heaven and revealing that he has switched sides in the afterlife and now sits at the left hand of the Father.
There was a poignant part of the speech when Obama said: “Today, we must affirm that our future will be determined by people like Chris Stevens, and not by his killers. Today, we must declare that this violence and intolerance has no place among our United Nations.”
Stevens, the U.S. ambassador to Libya, was killed along with three other Americans when an Islamist militant group attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi.
Obama had barely wrapped up his sober oration to the U.N. when his frivolous self appeared delivering a birthday basket to 187-year-old Barbara Walters and joking that he was “eye candy” for the ladies of The View.
In a joint appearance with the First Lady that was actually taped Monday afternoon, Obama obviously said nothing that shook Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck off their sofa.
Obama recited rehashed lines while he and Michelle endured some hellacious trauma, held hands, finished each other’s sentences, gossiped about their daughters, made insinuating allusions to marital intimacies, fielded softball questions (even from the supposedly right-leaning Hasselbeck), and otherwise charmed everyone’s socks off even though hardly anyone in the audience was wearing socks.

Romney and Obama banging overheated radiators over “bumps in the road”

We get it. The presidential campaign is heading down the homestretch and the candidates are leaping like frogs on a trampoline at every opportunity they have to knock the other guy on his trousers.
It happened again today, folks. And it will happen again. After all, it’s been happening forever. Or maybe longer.
It was Mitt Romney’s turn Monday to yelp like bacon grease splattering on a hot stove in order to discredit Barack Obama.
Of course, Obama does that to Romney, too. If the former had a track record for the last four years and if the latter had a plan for the next four years, neither one would have to stoop to these tactics.
That’s because when you have Caruso (you youngsters Google the guy), you don’t need juggling acts.
Romney suggested that the president is downplaying crises unfolding across the Middle East by describing turmoil in the region as “bumps in the road.”
“I can’t imagine saying something like the assassination of ambassadors is a bump in the road,” Romney said.
Apparently neither can Obama.
White House spokesman Jay Carney today explained that Obama was referring to Middle East unrest in general and called the GOP claim “both desperate and offensive.”
Carney described the criticism as election year rhetoric, saying the Republicans are “reaching for reeds to grab onto.”
Granted, the Democrats, too, have reached for the same flimsy reeds on many occasions.
I just hope that neither side tears a rotator cuff reaching for them.

Cards shuffle and deck Vick, Eagles

The Eagles could have found something more productive to do this afternoon in Glendale, Arizona.

Search for new friends on Facebook.

Wait for Godot.

Read Mitt Romney’s tax returns.

Search for Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Hang out at the hotel pool and do cannonballs.

Wonder if people wear underwear in the afterlife.

Play pinochle.

Twiddle their thumbs.

Count the number of cashes in their hotel room minibar.

Get some bodyguards and a faster clock for Michael Vick.

The Arizona Cardinals now are an improbable 3-0 after starching Philadelphia 27-6.

The Eagles’ meek pass rush never ruffled Kevin Kolb, who even gets panicky in crowded elevators.

Meanwhile the Cards hit Vick more often than Floyd Mayweather’s fast hands hit the speed bag.

A reshuffled Eagles OL didn’t help and Vick will never learn that you can’t hold onto the ball until hell freezes over. Especially when you’re in Arizona.

You knew the Eagles were going to plummet to 2-1 on the last play of the first half. It was a sequence that summarized the whole game more succinctly and eloquently than even an accomplished wordsmith like yours truly can do.

The Eagles were threatening to score a touchdown when Vick dropped back but did not see the weak-side safety blitz. Kerry Rhodes blindsided Vick, pummeling him to the ground and knocking the ball out of his hands. Arizona’s James Sanders scooped up the fumble and returned it 93 yards for a touchdown.

Instead of 17-7 it was 24-0. You didn’t have to be a math major to know that added up to a whole lot of doo-doo.

Afterwards, Andy Reid fell on the sword. And you know it had to be a helluva sharp sword.

“I have to get my football team ready to play; I did a terrible job this week,” Reid said.

God knows what Jeff Lurie said.

A taxed Romney flip-flops big time after months of resistance more stubborn than a clogged country club drain and releases his 2011 tax returns

Guess what, my fellow political junkies?

Mitt Romney finally dumped his 2011 tax returns this afternoon and I was so shocked my fingers went number than the folks in the morgue.

I simply couldn’t bring myself to type for a couple hours, my digits frozen in astonishment.

Romney’s tax release couldn’t have been more startling to me than if he had suddenly done a triple toe loop in sequins across the ice cubes in my Crown Royal Manhattan on the rocks.

Why now?

Well, the guy either got violently ill and delirious from some bad catered lobster bisque or suddenly is more desperate than a mortally wounded yak.

Then again, I simply can’t imagine why Romney would be so desperate. After all, things lately have been going more swimmingly for him than Michael Phelps.

So what gives? For months Romney has resisted political pressure on him to reveal more info on his large personal fortune.

Perhaps the guy simply is trying to change the conversation and stop people from making fun of him. He’s become such a pin cushion that his body resembles a sprinkler in the shower.

Of course, his Friday afternoon news dump was a rather convenient ploy to somewhat bury the story. By then the liberal media types, being the rascals they are, are heading for cocktails and cocktail waitresses.

It turns out that Romney, Harry Reid to the contrary, actually paid some taxes.

He earned $13.69 million in 2011, mostly income from his investments, and paid $1.9 million in taxes for an effective tax rate of 14.1 percent.

His campaign staff also said that Romney and his wife averaged an effective annual federal tax rate of 20.2 percent between 1990 and 2009, and never paid an effective rate below 13.6 percent.
I guess it’s not a fable that the taxman cometh even for plutocrats.