Sandy a better matchmaker than eHarmony now that Obama and Christie are a couple

Sandy obviously blew a lot of things where they had no business being.
The strangest of all has to be the coupling of Barack Obama and Chris Christie. It took a continent-sized hurricane to couple this unlikely pair while tossing sanity onto the shoals of insanity.
Obama and Christie toured what’s left of soggy New Jersey today and it was a massive jolt of electricity for both in a state mostly without power.
Yeah, yeah, I know that Obama and Christie have told next Tuesday’s election to take a coffee break.
Do they think we’re dumber than single-celled organisms? C’mon, man! They both are getting plenty of political pop from Sandy.
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney is as helpless as a beached whale (no cheap-shot Chris Christie fat jokes, please!) trying to remain part of the national dialogue during these crucial days when he has no role in the hurricane response.
As you all know from my Zeke pigskin prognosticating, I’m remarkably clairvoyant. And I see the presidential vote being such a nail biter that sales of nail clippers will drop 47.4 percent during the fourth quarter.
Which is why Obama will grab onto whatever winds of opportunity Sandy has blown his way, all the while looking more presidential than ever.
Funny thing, when Sandy was howling past my house I didn’t hear strains of Hail to the Chief reverberating off my pine trees.

The election ain’t over until the fat man sings … Christie croons Obama’s praises

In the end Sandy wasn’t hard to track. Left death and destruction wherever she went.
Millions of people from Maine to the Carolinas awoke today without electricity. The only folks unhappier than they were the ones who have to risk life and limb restoring all that juice.
New York City is under siege, sentenced to an eerie silence and all but closed off by car, train and air. Its subway system has been reduced to an enclosed river. Subway cars were never meant to be power boats.
New Jersey’s shore resorts are devastated. No electricity. Swamped homes and businesses. Water surging in the streets. Boardwalks shredded. Residents weeping. Insurance companies weeping. You would think a storm named Sandy would have been kinder to beach communities.
The whole nightmare has scrambled minds, hearts and emotions in a gigantic omelet of heartache and loss.
Indeed, look at what it’s done to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.
Christie, who lambasted President Obama while delivering the keynote address at the Republican Convention, emphatically and repeatedly on television networks and Twitter this morning praised Obama for his handling of Sandy.
Say what? This is a prominent Mitt Romney surrogate speaking? His brains and tongue must be water-logged.
Sandy has given Obama the presidential stage to display his executive skill set in a nonpartisan way.
But don’t despair, my Republican friends. History suggests that voters are likely to punish an incumbent for acts of God outside of his control, even more so if the government’s response appears to come up short.
Christie’s hosannas for Obama today could have, sorry about this pun, a ripple effect at the polls.

Sandy doing a tsunami on Romney’s campaign surge

Bad weather can find more ways to hose you than a flim-flam artist.
And now you can’t fault Mitt Romney for suddenly becoming as paranoid as a getaway driver.
Hurricane Sandy is robbing Romney more than a Sicilian Brinks trunk, stealing the momentum he has forged since the debates.
Granted, Sandy also has put a serious crimp in Barack Obama’s campaign as well. Plus, he has to squeeze in some presidential minutes during this storm crisis.
Nevertheless, Frankenstorm hardly is a Halloween treat for Romney in several swing states where it’s chewing up the political conversation like balsa wood because folks are too busy trying to keep their powder dry in the dark.

Falcons air it out, Eagles err it out, and the read on Reid reads like an obituary

How bad were the Eagles as they swan dived to rock bottom Sunday in a 30-17 loss to the Falcons at the Linc — a nightmare that undoubtedly will be replaying regularly on the back of Andy Reid’s eyelids (assuming he can sleep tonight)?
The Eagles played like guys who have to sit and puff on straws to get their wheelchairs around.
Iggles Nation will digest this galling loss about as well as a mayonnaise-and-shrimp sandwich foolishly purchased from a street vendor.
The Eagles fell to 3-4 in the first loss after a bye week in Reid’s 14 years as head coach. It’s doubtful that Reid will be coaching the Eagles after another bye week.

During this bye, Reid waved bye-bye to Juan Castillo and the defense today was worse under new coordinator Todd Bowles.

The unbeaten Falcons scored on their first six drives and did not need to punt until the fourth quarter. That’s Sieve City, folks.

Compounding matters, the Eagles somehow didn’t have a single turnover and still got scorched by Matty Ice’s flame throwing.

I hate to suggest that the Eagles quit on Andy Reid today. But they were curled up in the fetal position.

Frankenstorm doing the monster mash

As noted in the Zeke Blogosphere more than once, Mother Nature at times is hardly as sweet as Little Red Riding Hood’s grandma.
Just in time for Halloween, Mother Nature has served up Frankenstorm, which is growing more ominous by the hour for the East Coast.
God, even Vincent Price or Alfred Hitchcock never concocted all this screaming horror.
This hybrid weather monster, with Hurricane Sandy in tow, already has wreaked havoc in the Caribbean and is barreling towards the U.S.
Suddenly we’re all sitting ducks quacking about the weather instead of Barack Obama.
Frankenstorm could bring a natural horror show of high winds, heavy rains, extreme tides, and even snow peaking with the arrival of Hurricane Sandy on Tuesday and lingering past Halloween on Wednesday.
Just a hunch, but I imagine everybody will be stocking up on flashlight batteries, generators, toilet paper and gallons of Jack Daniels.
With a rare mix of three big merging weather systems over the nation’s most heavily populated corridor, experts predict at least $1 billion in damage.
I wonder how much Haiti will kick in to help cover that nut.
The stage is set with Hurricane Sandy gushing toward a wintry storm chugging across the country from the west and frigid air streaming south from Canada.
So why can’t Hurricane Schwartz do something to stop Hurricane Sandy? Can’t the Channel 10 weatherman at least talk to Sandy hurricane to hurricane?
So is climate change the culprit in this Halloween horror show?
You can’t blame any particular hurricane on global warming. They’re born, as they always have been, when a tropical wave launches off the African coast and heads out into the open ocean.
Now time for the proverbial but.
But when that ocean is hot — and at the moment sea surface temperatures in the Northeast are five degrees higher than normal — a storm like Sandy can lurch north longer and stronger, drawing huge quantities of moisture into its clouds and then dumping them ashore.
Some scientists have suggested the patterns could be linked to this year’s record Arctic sea ice loss, which exposes more open water to absorb the sun’s energy.
Perhaps the featured Halloween costume this year should be dressing up like a scuba diver.

Another sign the apocalypse is perched upon our doorstep: Wannabe cannibal cop

I imagine they will have to amend that slogan that the NYPD is New York’s Finest.
One New York City cop allegedly isn’t all that fine.
Gilberto Valle was charged today with plotting to kidnap, rape, torture and kill women he had identified and catalogued on his computer, and then cook and eat their body parts.
Valle sent numerous emails and other Internet communications about the ghoulish torture and cannibalism scheme, according to a criminal complaint. There was no information that any women were harmed.
How can a guy, let alone a cop, be wired with such a sick appetite?

Obama and Romney yoked together in a battle of attrition

Down the stretch they come, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney going hoof to hoof like Affirmed and Alydar — so close they can hear each other’s labored, desperate breathing; so close they can see the other’s shadow; so close, so agonizingly close.
Two presidential candidates engaged in a furious trench war over those remaining undecided/persuadable voters scattered here and there in 10 battleground states that will determine the outcome and change the winds of destiny.

This horse race could wind up thisclose. The margin of victory could be thinner than Kate Moss.
Obama leads by a shrinking margin in the Electoral College, according to a consensus of the polls.
The race comes down to 10 states: Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Wisconsin.
The result could be crazier than the Terrible Two Teds – Bundy and Kaczynski.
Those 10 swing states could produce a wide variety of outcomes, including one in which Obama loses the popular vote (because of a huge vote against him in the South) but wins the Electoral College (with bicoastal and Great Lakes states) or even a possible tie in the Electoral College, which would probably mean a Romney win in a constitutionally mandated House vote.
Even bobbing for Halloween apples isn’t that much fun.
Finger Obama for all of this. His fingerprints are all over it.
Prior to the first debate, Obama’s reelection chances were looking drop-your-popcorn good.

Then Obama threw away his momentum like a used Kleenex in the first debate and despite his subsequent snarky and scornful mood in the next two debates, he essentially has been a useless wad of pre-chewed gristle ever since.

Never mind that Romney has morphed into a chameleon marketing himself differently to different demographics and literally junking his entire campaign approach overnight. The extreme polarization in this country is giving Romney a free pass among the GOP/Tea Party right wing – for now.

The crucial component in this election is that Romney represents change and Obama represents more of the same.

When matters in the country ain’t all that peachy keen, change always beats more of the same.

In irony you could slice with a steak knife, Obama was change in 2008. He and things change.

The president is ruefully finding out that as you get older, change can be a loathsome demon.

Obama petulant. Romney presidential. Guess who sounds like the frontrunner?

Last night’s presidential debate validated what most pundits already thought – you’d need a high-powered microscope to find the miniscule differences between Obama and Romney on drone strikes, the war in Afghanistan, relations with Pakistan, the intervention in Libya, support for Israel and crippling sanctions on Iran.

It also demonstrated that foreign affairs aren’t necessary foreign to Mitt Romney and that Barack Obama, helped a bit by his day job as president, has a fluent command of foreign affairs.

But what people will remember is the atmospherics of the debate.

Obama, perhaps still overreacting to his sleepy first debate, was more aggressive than an attack dog with a bad case of psoriasis. Even milk left out for a week in the Sahara isn’t as sour as Obama was in constantly harpooning Romney as if his opponent were the Great White Whale.

The president also delivered the best WWE smackdown of the debate trilogy, one that has the Internet buzzing like a bee hive wired on caffeine.

Responding to Romney’s call for more naval ships, Obama snapped: “Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military’s changed.”

Never mind that our Marines still are equipped with bayonets.

Obama’s theatrics found deaf ears on those with dispassionate ears.
In vivid contrast, Romney projected as a confident, plausible commander-in-chief. When Romney repeatedly acknowledged his agreement with aspects of the president’s policies, it exuded strength.
If you’re scoring at home, and for your sake I hope that you are, Mitt took the debates 2-1.

Monday night football, Monday night baseball and Monday night debate … did former outfielder Rick Monday over-schedule tonight?

OK, I get it that presidential elections are sort of important. Otherwise we would be living in Syria or China or Disney World.
Grave as this election is, what’s up with having the third presidential debate tonight?
Don’t the academics who schedule these things know this a Monday night in the fall? Have they not heard of Monday Night Football?
So tonight we have the Detroit Lions at the Chicago Bears, who like each other about as much as Israel and Iran, while Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are trying to woo us, con us and deceive us while debating foreign policy.
Factor in Game 7 of the NLCS between the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants tonight and suddenly people who care about their sports and their democracy need three TV sets, six eyes and six ears. Which rules out everybody but circus freaks, I guess.
Then again, supposedly not too many folks in America give a whit about foreign policy. But you would think that the Benghazi debacle would have changed some of that.
Romney, of course, might just mention Benghazi once or twice. Just a hunch.
Obama, of course, might just mention he ended the Iraq war and brought home 30,000 soldiers from Afghanistan and has a plan to end that war. Just a hunch.
Pakistan, Israel and China will be on the agenda of powder kegs as well.
So far Obama and Romney don’t seem all that apart on a range of foreign policy issues but both likely will ramp up the rhetoric tonight to appeal to swing voters in battleground states.
Granted, it’s important for both to sound wooly serious and cactus tough. Neither wants to come across as a Caspar Milquetoast ready to be steamrolled by foreign infidels. Nor do they want to come across as a lunatic just itching to scratch his trigger finger on a nuke button.
Should be interesting TV for all those who watch the debate while fleeing the commercials over-populating the football and baseball games.

Mr. President and Mr. M.D., even without the benefit of a stethoscope, diagnoses what’s ailing Mitt: Romnesia

I know many of the faithful browsers in the Zeke Blogosphere would rather give Barack Obama the back of their hand rather than give him a hand.

But, being the impartial moderator that I am, I have to hand it to Obama for recently getting his M.D. despite being somewhat preoccupied by being president, running for reelection, and frequent talk show guest.

Indeed, this has to be the most impressive display of multitasking since Britney Spears was balancing singing, train wrecks and allegedly speeding through amphetamines,

After a recent appearance on Jon Stewart’s program, Obama must have hired one of Stewart’s comedy writers.

Because Obama came up with a clever diagnosis today for Mitt Romney, who has been suffering from frequent backtracking, sidestepping, diarrhea and an inability to remember his previous campaign message while suddenly jackknifing to a more moderate front: Romnesia.