Does it ever end? With Israel and Hamas OK for now, Macy balloons now imperil humanity

The good news today is that Israel has agreed to a ceasefire with Hamas.

The bad news is the ceasefire could stick about as well as a wet Post-it note. Or as long as a Kim Kardashian and Larry King marriage.

After all, the Middle East has hardly been a destination stop for everlasting happy times. There’s a reason it’s not called Nirvana and is short on Kurt Cobain posters.

While both sides agreed in principal for a truce, there was no agreement on the key demands — leading to a second phase of talks that will address the issues that Hillary Clinton will be involved in.

The devil is always in the details. So don’t hold your breath until Gaza turns into Haight-Ashbury, circa 1967.

In eight days of fighting, more than 140 Palestinians and five Israelis have died.

While the Mideast powder key leading to Armageddon always is as much as a pressing concern as the muddled state of the Eagles’ OL and Andy Reid’s violated serenity, there apparently is something graver facing us on this Thanksgiving eve: The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Never mind that they only hold the silly and senseless parade to fill air time before the football games, family ties and turkey feasts kick off.

The Macy’s parade evidently is a threat to mankind because it boasts 16 gigantic balloons and is squandering the dwindling global supply of helium.

Helium does a few things a tad more vital than filling balloons and making otherwise humorless people squeak like Mickey Mouse after inhaling.

No other gas is as light without being combustible. And it’s indispensable for aerospace engineering, deep-sea diving and cryogenics.
What’s more, without liquefied helium we wouldn’t be able to make the superconducting magnets like those in MRIs, which is sort of important if a runaway Macy’s balloon blows your way and fractures some of your limbs.
Happy Thanksgiving you all and hopefully your bellies don’t feel as if they’re filled with helium after you squat and gobble your holiday dinner.

Advertisements