Te’o girlfriend hoax a whopper worthy of Burger King

Football stars, like rock guitarists and bloggers, attract women like a blue suit attracts lint, like honey attracts Aunt Bee, like neon attracts Vegas showgirls, like Charlie Sheen attracts bible salesmen, like the Second Amendment attracts NRA members.

So why did Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o, the Heisman Trophy runner-up for Touchdown Jesus’ sake, have to settle for an online girlfriend?

An online girlfriend named Lennay Kekua who couldn’t have suffered a heartbreaking death from leukemia this past season because she was as real as Cinderella.

Te’o, who repeatedly told the media that his girlfriend was his source of inspiration, now claims he was the target of a “sick Joke” that was “painful and humiliating.”

I would imagine so. Imagine what Knute Rockne and the Gipper think of this.

Notre Dame claims this romantic tragedy/travesty was a hoax perpetrated by several people – probably Alabama fans.

Of course, the star quarterback at Alabama dates Miss Alabama, who is not only real but she’s spectacular. Just ask Brent Musburger.

Granted, the big question here is whether Te’o actually was duped or part of the bizarre conspiracy.

Your thoughts, Lou Holtz?


One thought on “Te’o girlfriend hoax a whopper worthy of Burger King

  1. Murray says:

    Finding this story a bit difficult to wrap my brain around. Between this and his poor performance in the BCS title game, his stock in the NFL draft is dropping faster than a bad facelift.

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