I don’t know about you, but last year’s Eagles reminded me of cats: They lacked responsibility, defied authority, didn’t do anything useful, and were no fun to watch.
You didn’t need to know the metric system to count all their turnovers.
Now I know why guppies eat their young.
Granted, I was excited about Chip Kelly coming to Philly. A new coach, a new offense, a new direction, a new quarterback, a new era, a new set of sound bites livelier than Novocain.
Or so we thought.
Yesterday came news that was uglier than eating Brussels sprouts.
New meets old. How the hell did this twain meet?
Vick will be dueling with Nick Foles for the starting job.
Neither seems a fit for Kelly’s high-octane offense. Vick’s mind is too slow and Foles’ feet are too slow.
Kelly’s Oregon offense was all about speed. Speed kills. Speed chills. Speed thrills.
With Vick and/or Foles at the throttle, Kelly’s Eagle offense may be slower than dial-up. You may be able to time its tempo with a sundial.
I guess Kelly saw that the quarterback landscape is pathetic with a draft pool shallower than Snooki and a free agent class thinner than Kate Moss.
So 2013 is a transition year until Chip Kelly’s real quarterback joins the team in 2014.
Prison time passes faster.