The meteor strafing Siberia violates local zoning ordinances

Well, you sure as hell can’t say that things here on Mother Earth are as boring as watching body paint dry on Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girl Kate Upton — whose photo shoot in Antarctica further melted the southern polar caps.

First of all, Mother Nature has been more berserk than an NRA official. All kinds of nasty weather have turned our planet into a screaming non-amusement ride.

Now we’re getting bombarded from outer space.

With a blinding flash and a booming shock wave, a meteor blazed across the western Siberian sky today and exploded with the force of 20 atomic bombs, injuring more than 1,000 people as it blasted out windows and spread panic in a city of 1 million.

While NASA estimated the meteor was only about the size of a bus and weighed an estimated 7,000 tons, the fireball it produced was dramatic. Video shot by startled residents of the Russian city of Chelyabinsk showed its streaming contrails as it arced toward the horizon just after sunrise, looking like something from a world-ending science fiction movie.

There hadn’t been such a scary space sight since Rick Moranis was playing Dark Helmet in Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs.

Granted, there are conspiracy theories suggesting the meteor was not a cosmic cocktail of destruction but either a movie prop from an upcoming Quentin Tarantino flick or a North Korean nuclear missile that was supposed to hit Los Angeles but missed more dramatically than Ryan Howard flailing at a breaking ball.

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One thought on “The meteor strafing Siberia violates local zoning ordinances

  1. Murray says:

    Hadn’t run across the word ‘contrail’ in quite some time, Zeke. Technically, it refers to the vapor trail of a jet or rocket engine, but you had already used the word ‘fireball’ and couldn’t really use it again quite so soon.

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