They had ancient Merion all lipsticked up this week in Ardmore, with rough tougher than Putin, greens slicker than Willie Sutton and fairways tighter than Jack Benny.
And if you got either one of the last two analogies, you must be older than the sand in the Merion bunkers.
The U.S. Open had a flourish of a finish today, with Justin Rose navigating the punishing closing holes at Merion with a calmness fitting a monastery friar.
Meanwhile, woeful, doleful Phil Mickelson was the U.S. Open runner-up for about the 947th time. This guy has more silver than my teeth.
Now Merion will recede back into the golf history books and sports fans in the Greater Delaware Valley will return to more important devotions, like who the hell is gonna quarterback Chip Kelly’s Eagles?