This is no time for a Kumbaya outlook, Phillies fans.
While this tastes like Drano in my mouth, I’ve got to say it.
And while this may go down your throat like tumbleweed, you have to eat it.
It’s time to blow up the Phillies!
While they have been teasing us lately by actually winning a few games and touting their history as a second-half-of-the-season ballclub, their long run is history.
Ultimately this collection of relics won’t be able to beat an egg.
With Charlie Manuel about to lumber into the sunset after the season, it’s time for the Phillies to shed years and money now and load up on prospects by trading pending free agents Carlos Ruiz, Chase Utley and Michael Young, as well as Cliff Lee and Jonathan Papelbon.
Otherwise, things are going to get so ugly (especially with that bullpen) that you’ll want to stab two barbecue skewers deep into your ears and stir.
Phillies fans then will be buy-a-vowel drunk, spewing cuss words and looking to fight. And the men will be sometimes worse.