Hitler’s bodyguard reunited at last with his Fuehrer

Monsters are all the rage right now and it has nothing to do with Halloween.

Syria’s Bashar al-Assad is one bloody monster but President Obama stands largely alone on the world stage in his call for military intervention.

World leaders left the G20 summit in Russia today without agreeing on military action against Syria over last month’s nerve gas attack in Damascus.

So Obama now will return home and resume rallying support in Congress, which will be tougher than a $2 steak.

Nazis, meanwhile, still are grabbing attention. Those cockroaches simply won’t die despite the goose-stepping march of time.

Well, at least one of them died recently.

Adolf Hitler’s longtime bodyguard, the last living person to see the Nazi dictator’s final moments, has died at 96 years old.

What a shame that the dude apparently was good at his job.

Rochus Misch originally entered the war to fight communism, not to protect Hitler, he said in a 2005 interview. But after being delegated to the Fuehrer’s safety, he became a loyal servant, staying on his post in the bunker even after Hitler’s and Eva Braun’s suicide. And he never even got overtime pay for that.

Misch remained proud of his work and claimed to have no knowledge of Hitler’s Final Solution (yeah, right) that involved the mass murder of millions.

Of Hitler, Misch said: “He was no brute. He was no monster,” and “he was a wonderful boss.”

Perhaps Misch had Hitler confused with Mr. Rogers.

Misch said the Fuehrer’s only hobbies were trimming his mustache with hedge clippers and riding his hobbyhorse naked except for a strategically placed swastika.

Nazi guards must have drank embalming fluid between screams of “Heil Hitler” because some of them have extraordinary shelf lives. German prosecutors recently filed charges against 30 alleged and ancient Auschwitz guards.

If convicted, perhaps they will be sentenced to play with chemical weapons in Syria.


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