If you live in Berks County, whose capital seat is Reading, you likely are feeling rather poorly today.
Actually, scratch the ly off poorly and just make it poor.
Poor as in turn over the sofa and recliners to see if any quarters fall out.
Poor as in check out the trash bins behind fine dining restaurants (but not fast-food places because, after all, even people gut-deep in poverty have standards).
Poor as in let’s stop being dead broke by hacking Bill Gates’ online bank accounts.
Why this descent into the haunting, hollow gloom of abject impoverishment?
Well, the Reading Eagle had a Page One story this morning that Reading’s poverty rate worsened in 2012, making it the second most impoverished city in the country behind Detroit.
No wonder I never see any yachts sailing the Schuylkill River around here.
No wonder Harrods never came to our town.
And even the not-so-rich but famous folks around here apparently have wallets housing more moths than lettuce.
Jon Gosselin once was the star of the top reality television show in America.
Because Americans are dumber than fire hydrants and because Gosselin was the father of eight kids and then married to a shrew of a wife named Kate.
Now he’s waiting tables at the Black Dog Café in Stouchsburg.
At least the food there is good.
But don’t expect Kate and the kids to be dining there anytime soon.
After all, things ended rather poorly for America’s once beloved couple, who never enjoyed the rich happiness of Ozzie and Harriet.