The Eagles, on offense, defense and special teams, played football Sunday like a bunch of equipment managers for the junior high chess team.
To be blunt, the Birds were basically a semi-functioning blood clot in losing 52-20 to the Broncos in mile high Denver.
How the hell can a team be so damn low playing a mile high? Can you imagine how jackal-puking bad they would have played had the game been at sea level?
I thought how low can you go was for doing the limbo, not playing football.
It was the most points the Eagles (1-3) surrendered since Nov. 26, 1972, when they lost 62-10 to the New York Giants.
Even John Boehner isn’t that much of a pushover when it comes to the Tea Party bullies.
Peyton Manning immolated the Birds’ defense, the supposedly stick-of-dynamite Chip Kelly offense was as explosive as a stick of chewing gum, and the special teams looked more like special needs when they allowed two touchdowns.
Instead of watching this dastardly debacle, I should have done something fun like study all the fine print in Obamacare.