Foles, Barkley, Eagles the biggest flops since the Disney fantasy epic John Carter

There have been plenty of horrific disasters in recorded history.

Famine, pestilence, war, earthquakes, floods, tornadoes. plagues, political campaigns.

Events of utter destruction, agony and despair.

Moments that cast eyes toward the heavens searching to see if God is preoccupied downloading celestial apps.

The latest knee-buckling disaster was Nick Foles Sunday.

Check that. He was the latest epic tragedy until Matt Barkley brought mankind, or at least that portion of mankind wearing Eagles green, to its knees.

With Michael Vick out with a bad hammy, with Foles unable to connect with anyone as if he were a cell phone in a dead zone before he exited with a concussion, and with Barkley’s NFL debut exhibiting more picks than you’ll find in a guitar store, the Eagles suffered a 17-3 calamity of a loss to the hated Cowboys.

So much for Chip Kelly’s celebrated offense. The only thing offensive about the Eagles today was how offensive they were to civilized men, women and children.

The Birds Sunday couldn’t have scored with a fistful of a hundred dollar bills in a whorehouse.

And so much for the Eagles at home, who lost their ninth straight at the Linc.

Home cooking gives them food poisoning.

The Vet used to be considered one of hell’s dungeons. But at least it was at times a playpen of success for the Birds.

Now the Eagles live in hell and they could have a devil of a time once again when the Giants come to the Linc next Sunday

Blame it on global warming.

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