The devil always is in the details: Folks going nuclear over the vague agreement language on whether Iran now has the green light to enrich uranium

Not to profile any one country, but I wouldn’t trust Iran anymore than I would trust Hitler, Stalin, Genghis Khan or a spokesman for Bobby Brown.

I would rather sign an agreement with Lucifer than the Iranians, who are so evil they don’t even believe in the devil.

Now it seems as if those diabolical Iranians finally may have gotten the world’s great powers to sign a deal that lets Iran enrich uranium.

Clever little infidels, aren’t they?

See what happens on a Sunday when the Eagles have a bye and U.S. diplomats have too much idle time?

Didn’t their mothers teach them that idle hands are the devil’s playground? Which is why I took up wood whittling. Even in the shower. But I digress.

For years the United States has pressed other countries to support and enforce U.N. Security Council resolutions that demand Iran stop all of its enrichment activities and enter negotiations.

This morning in Geneva, U.S. negotiators signed an interim agreement that would tolerate “a mutually agreed long-term comprehensive solution” for Iran.

The agreement says Iran and six world powers will negotiate over the next six months “would involve a mutually defined enrichment program with practical limits and transparency measures to ensure the peaceful nature of the program.”

The agreement represents a significant softening of earlier demands from the United States and even the Obama administration.

During his first term, President Obama offered Iran a deal that would have required Iran to import enriched nuclear fuel, but not allow Iran to make that fuel in facilities its government controlled.

And now today’s abrupt U-turn, which is illegal on most highways.

The agreement in Geneva is meant to build trust between Iran, China, France, Germany, Russia, the United States and the United Kingdom as their diplomats hammer out a final agreement to end Iran’s quest for a nuclear weapon.

Trust Iran? Naïve. Stupid. Suicidal.

For now, the world is offering Iran modest sanctions relief in exchange for more transparency regarding its program and an agreement to cap its stockpile of enriched uranium during the talks.

However, it seems as if the Iranians are claiming the deal recognizes their right to enrich.

Senior administration officials say the deal does not recognize Iran’s right to enrichment and that limitations on Iran’s enrichment would be negotiated over the next six months.

But David Albright, a former weapons inspector and the president of the Institute for Science and International Security, said the document does not explicitly acknowledge that Iran has a right to enrich uranium, the process for creating the fuel needed for a peaceful nuclear reactor and also a nuclear weapon.

But he also said he was troubled that the language on enrichment was so vague.

President Obama rang up Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Sunday to offer assurances that the allied country would be consulted in the Iranian nuclear deal.

Now that had to a phone call more awkward than calling your ex-mother-in-law to find out who your ex-wife is sleeping with.

Netanyahu hates Iran even more than Americans hate Obamacare.

Obama reportedly said that the U.S. “will remain firm in our commitment to Israel, which has good reason to be skeptical about Iran’s intentions.”

Earlier, hours after the agreement, Netanyahu denounced it as a “historic mistake” that will only slow down Iran’s production of a nuclear bomb.

“Today the world became a much more dangerous place because the most dangerous regime in the world made a significant step in obtaining the most dangerous weapons in the world,” Netanyahu said.

Netanyahu is a noted hawk but he knows only too well that Iran would love to turn Israel into so much camel dung.

Which would leave us in deep doo-doo as well.

After all, the Middle East is the tinderbox that could usher in Armageddon in a blink.

You don’t need the CIA to read up on the Biblical apocalyptic revelations.

JFK, a retrospective

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

For those of us who remember that damnable day in Dallas, the hurt and loss remain new and hot to the touch to this day.

We still can sniff the aroma of charred dreams mixing with the wafting scent of flickering hope on the flower.

To label this tragedy a seminal event in American history is beyond reasonable debate.

The assassination of JFK lit the fuse on a powder key of an era that shredded some of America’s fabric.

The killing of Kennedy triggered a turbulent decade of protests and worse, more assassinations — Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy the most notable — and the expansion of what would then be America’s longest war, and its most divisive in a hundred years.

Vietnam scarred the face and soul of America, and changed our society — mostly for the worse.

But was Kennedy a great president, or simply King of Camelot whose short tenure essentially was as airy as a soufflé?

Somewhere in between.

Yep, Kennedy as president could be labeled somewhere between middling and mediocre.

Kennedy was an important president because he was a transformative figure in American history, despite serving such a short term and the fact that landmark civil rights legislation wasn’t actually passed while he was in office.

Style such as his can indeed have substance. Style and substance can ride in tandem.

True, much of the adulation for Kennedy during his life and since originated in arguably superficial attributes: his youth, personal attractiveness, sophistication and his eloquently beautiful wife (who he serially cheated on).

His election at age 43 to succeed the 70-year-old Dwight Eisenhower, who was about as sexy as a Rotary Club poker night, represented a generational shift in American leadership that was as much a source of popular excitement as Kennedy’s individual qualities.

Despite political and personal weaknesses that were widely acknowledged within a few years of his death, Kennedy was not just a charismatic celebrity. And his violent, sudden death rightly is remembered as a rupture in what had seemed an age of optimism and inexorable progress.

At his death, he had no major legislative accomplishments. His two major proposals — a tax cut to spur the economy and civil rights legislation — languished in Congress.

He expanded the Vietnam War, and though some supporters argue he would have reversed that in a second term, presidents are judged on what they did, not what they might have done.

His economic policies, symbolized by the proposed tax cut and called the new economics (an American Keynesianism), had damaging long-term consequences. They unleashed inflation in the late 1960s and 1970s; and they effectively abolished the commitment to balanced budgets — a loss that remains an anvil around our neck.

He also botched the Bay of Pigs invasion in Cuba but did have the major stones to face down Nikita Khrushchev in the Cuban Missile Crisis when nuclear war was imminent enough to taste.

Perhaps the public’s utter fascination with Kennedy is inherently baseless.

But the man had a regal presence that, in comparison, made Prince Charming seem as bland as Prince Charles.

An eternal perception that blazes incandescently.

After all, JFK remains the iconic symbol of the New Frontier.

Home, sweet home for the Eagles — at last

I’m not saying that it was a long time since the Eagles won at home, but their last victory at the Linc prior to Sunday was before the Chinese started tinkering with fireworks, back when the Dead Sea still was the Sick Sea.

OK, I digressed into a little bit of hyperbole there.

The Eagles beat the Washington Not Politically Correctors 24-16, their first home victory in a whopping 413 days. That’s almost 14 months. Folks back then weren’t even losing their insurance over Obamacare yet. The drought lasted 10 games.

And, lo and behold, the Birds now find themselves perched in the NFC East penthouse at 6-5 all by their lonesome.

Time to canonize Chip Kelly, I imagine.

And why not Nick Foles, too?

The kid with the trigger-quick mind and trigger-quick arm who is allergic to interceptions had another excellent performance, completing 17 of 26 passes for 298 yards and also rushing for a career-high 47 yards and a touchdown (his running was especially astonishing considering you need a sundial to time Foles in the 40).

His passer rating was 104.1. Foles has thrown 15 or more passes six times this year and has had a passer rating of 100 or better five times.

Only two NFL quarterbacks have had more games this year with a rating of at least 100, and both — Peyton Manning and Russell Wilson — have started twice as many games as Foles.

If you are a numbers person and an Eagles fan, you just gotta be orgasmic.

Just as rap-artist-bling gaudy are these numbers: Foles extended his streak of passes without an interception to 199, second-longest streak in franchise history.

In fact, Foles is the stingiest quarterback when it comes to throwing interceptions in NFL history, throwing a mere two picks in 349 passes in his last 13 games.

Who knew that arithmetic could be the most fun you could have with your clothes on?

Of course, outside of yours truly, nobody is perfect. Foles, a guy who tied the NFL record earlier this year with seven touchdown passes in a game, didn’t throw a touchdown pass yesterday. No wonder Kelly has yet to name him the official starter.

But Foles did come thisclose to throwing two touchdown passes. His apparent 43-yard touchdown pass to Brent Celek in the second quarter turned into a 42-yarder to the 1-yard line on a booth review, and an apparent 4-yard TD pass to Riley Cooper was ruled a 3-yarder.

Evidently the only people who can stop Foles from tossing TDs are the nitpicky stat geeks.

Finally, here are some other impressive numbers. It was Foles’ third straight win, his first career win at the Linc and his first-ever victory over an NFC East team.

You don’t have to be Nostradamus to know that Michael Vick’s tenure in Philly is so past tense.

Obama supposedly fixes the Affordable Care Act with a patch that hopefully has some adhesive

Barack Obama, thanks to his spiffy Affordable Care Act, has been under even more pressure than a guy stretched on a medieval torture rack.

So something had to give and the president today ate more crow than even a superstar gurgitator like Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobyayashi could stuff into his voracious mouth.

Obama announced a patch to the health care reform that evidently will avoid more canceled plans.

“We fumbled the rollout on this health care law,” said Obama.

No spit, Mr. President.

Acknowledging his signature law’s “rough” rollout, Obama said he had instituted a patch to the Affordable Care Act.

No word on whether he consulted Patch Adams on this.

Hopefully this patch works better than those quit smoking patches.

The fix is supposed to save insurance policies that were supposed to dissolve at the end of this year.

Insurance companies will be required, however, to inform customers if their plans don’t comply with Obamacare’s rules about minimum benefits.

Obama specifically addressed complaints from people who were notified that they could not keep the insurance they already have, despite having reiterated the motto “if you like your health care, you can keep it.”

Obama apologized for the poor performance of Healthcare.gov and his promise — made throughout the last three years — that if you had an insurance plan in the old individual market, you could keep it in the new one.

Suffice it to say that when Obama’s second term is up, Bill Gates won’t be hiring him as a web developer and Nostradamus won’t be hiring him as a prognosticator.

Obama said the administration didn’t expect the wave of cancellations that gushed right up to the front door of the White House.

The Affordable Care Act contains a “grandfather clause” for current plans — if your insurer offered a package in 2012, and you purchased it, you could continue it through 2013.

But because of changes caused by the law, insurers opted to drop these plans, pushing a whole host of unwilling customers onto the federal exchanges.

Which shocked Obama and the Democrats more than rewiring a bathroom light fixture while standing in a full tub of water.

“When I said you can keep your health care, you know, I’m looking at folks who’ve got employer-based health care,” Obama said. “I’m looking at folks who’ve got Medicare and Medicaid. And that accounts for the vast majority of Americans.”

Call that trying to paint something pretty over an ugly portrait.

Even still, to make up for the shock of cancelled plans and other disturbances, Obama opted for his fix for those Americans who want to keep their health insurance plan, and to alleviate public discontent and provide some political cover for panicked Democrats in Congress.

In short, the administrative fix will allow insurers to offer 2013 individual health care plans through 2014 without meeting the minimum standards of the Affordable Care Act.

In addition, insurers will be required to tell consumers what those plans omit and inform them of the more comprehensive plans that exist on the insurance marketplaces.

Not to prop up Obama’s Great Misadventure, but most of the plans cancelled by insurers evidently were junk — plans that gave peace of mind to consumers but wouldn’t help them in the case of an emergency.

Obama noted that part of the reason for health care reform was that insurers were refusing to cover care for the millions of Americans who purchased these plans.

Under the Affordable Care Act, this can no longer happen.

Allegedly.

My heartfelt apologies for the Russian novel length of this dissertation, but this insurance crap is a tad more complicated than trying to absorb the principles of biochemistry while poisonously hung over.

Bill Clinton to Obama: Let Americans keep their existing insurance and let them eat cake

Not that Barack Obama likely gives a whit what Bill Clinton (or anybody else, for that matter) has to say, but Clinton thinks the president should do whatever it takes — including tweaking Obamacare itself — to ensure that Americans can keep their existing insurance plans if they want to.

News of policy cancellations has put the White House on a panicked defensive not seen since the British torched the place in 1814.

The raging firestorm this time is over Obama’s if-you-like-your-health-plan-you-can-keep-it promise that proved more shocking than electrocution for many Americans even though they didn’t get a charge out of it.

Meanwhile, media reports claim that fewer than 50,000 people have successfully navigated the alligator-infested HealthCare.gov site and enrolled in private insurance plans as of last week.

The figure is a fraction of the Obama administration’s target of 500,000 enrollees for October.

The pathetic signup rate thus far has health insurers, who are counting on higher enrollment to make their plans profitable, more nervous than if they were confronting an epidemic of antibiotic-resistant superbugs.

Call them the Fortune .500 Eagles

Good fortune seems to ride in tandem with Nick Foles’ right arm.

And now the Eagles are a Fortune .500 franchise at 5-5 and definitely with more than a faint pulse in the NFC East, which has been tethered to a respirator this season.

Who would have thought that Nick Foles, who just had to be Huck Finn in a previous life, would be hanging out at the craps table with Lady Luck?

Granted, if would be a tad nicer than a Dairy Queen Blizzard if the Birds could win a game or two at the Linc. All five of their victories this season came on the road. Call them The Road Warriors. Only rock and roll roadies travel with more percussion.

Foles uncorked three more touchdown passes today in the 27-13 pasting of the decimated Packers at Lambeau Field, where the groans of the ghost of Vince Lombardi clearly were audible.

A deflected pass that landed in DeSean Jackson ‘s hands for a 55-yard touchdown. Two long touchdowns (45 and 32 yards) to Riley Cooper, one after a defensive back slipped to leave the receiver with the romance novel mane open from Green Bay to Scranton for a score.

Foles now has 16 touchdown passes and nary a pick this season. You don’t have to be a CPA to get excited about those numbers.

Must be something to this fancy pants Chip Kelly offense, doncha know?

The best things in life are Twitter and money

Money, money, money. Everybody’s talking money.

Time for that comeback tour, Eddie Money.

Apparently nobody cares that money can’t buy you love.

And, like your underwear, is not transferable to the afterlife.

Twitter staged its IPO Thursday morning and we’re talking, scratch that, tweeting Big Money.

Big, Big Money. Big as Oprah Money.

Twitter’s $1.8 billion initial offering makes it the seventh largest IPO in the world this year, and the largest in tech since Facebook last year offered at $16 billion.

Yep, Twitter’s IPO was ginormous and you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to find a clue why.

Twitter is the medium of choice. Tweets and retweets are the currency of buzz.

If you don’t tweet, you ain’t sweet.

Smoke signals, in contrast, never staged an IPO. Somebody forgot to tell how the Apaches how they could cash in.

Keeping our fingers dirty with germ-laden money, now here is a surprise: The U.S. economy grew at an annual rate of 2.8 percent in the third quarter, topping analysts’ expectations of a 2 percent rate.

The report was initially due out on October 30, but was delayed because of the government shutdown.

The growth comes as a surprise as economists were predicting the sequestration spending cuts and tax increases to have a significant drag on the economy.

Don’t hire economists to do your taxes or tell your fortune.

Making the economy growth rate even more astonishing than finding a dead polar bear in your foyer was a report released Thursday that the 16-day government shutdown cost the U.S. economy between $2 billion and $6 billion in economic output.

Uncle Sam may have to borrow some money from Floyd Mayweather Jr.