The best things in life are Twitter and money

Money, money, money. Everybody’s talking money.

Time for that comeback tour, Eddie Money.

Apparently nobody cares that money can’t buy you love.

And, like your underwear, is not transferable to the afterlife.

Twitter staged its IPO Thursday morning and we’re talking, scratch that, tweeting Big Money.

Big, Big Money. Big as Oprah Money.

Twitter’s $1.8 billion initial offering makes it the seventh largest IPO in the world this year, and the largest in tech since Facebook last year offered at $16 billion.

Yep, Twitter’s IPO was ginormous and you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to find a clue why.

Twitter is the medium of choice. Tweets and retweets are the currency of buzz.

If you don’t tweet, you ain’t sweet.

Smoke signals, in contrast, never staged an IPO. Somebody forgot to tell how the Apaches how they could cash in.

Keeping our fingers dirty with germ-laden money, now here is a surprise: The U.S. economy grew at an annual rate of 2.8 percent in the third quarter, topping analysts’ expectations of a 2 percent rate.

The report was initially due out on October 30, but was delayed because of the government shutdown.

The growth comes as a surprise as economists were predicting the sequestration spending cuts and tax increases to have a significant drag on the economy.

Don’t hire economists to do your taxes or tell your fortune.

Making the economy growth rate even more astonishing than finding a dead polar bear in your foyer was a report released Thursday that the 16-day government shutdown cost the U.S. economy between $2 billion and $6 billion in economic output.

Uncle Sam may have to borrow some money from Floyd Mayweather Jr.


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