Obama supposedly fixes the Affordable Care Act with a patch that hopefully has some adhesive

Barack Obama, thanks to his spiffy Affordable Care Act, has been under even more pressure than a guy stretched on a medieval torture rack.

So something had to give and the president today ate more crow than even a superstar gurgitator like Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobyayashi could stuff into his voracious mouth.

Obama announced a patch to the health care reform that evidently will avoid more canceled plans.

“We fumbled the rollout on this health care law,” said Obama.

No spit, Mr. President.

Acknowledging his signature law’s “rough” rollout, Obama said he had instituted a patch to the Affordable Care Act.

No word on whether he consulted Patch Adams on this.

Hopefully this patch works better than those quit smoking patches.

The fix is supposed to save insurance policies that were supposed to dissolve at the end of this year.

Insurance companies will be required, however, to inform customers if their plans don’t comply with Obamacare’s rules about minimum benefits.

Obama specifically addressed complaints from people who were notified that they could not keep the insurance they already have, despite having reiterated the motto “if you like your health care, you can keep it.”

Obama apologized for the poor performance of Healthcare.gov and his promise — made throughout the last three years — that if you had an insurance plan in the old individual market, you could keep it in the new one.

Suffice it to say that when Obama’s second term is up, Bill Gates won’t be hiring him as a web developer and Nostradamus won’t be hiring him as a prognosticator.

Obama said the administration didn’t expect the wave of cancellations that gushed right up to the front door of the White House.

The Affordable Care Act contains a “grandfather clause” for current plans — if your insurer offered a package in 2012, and you purchased it, you could continue it through 2013.

But because of changes caused by the law, insurers opted to drop these plans, pushing a whole host of unwilling customers onto the federal exchanges.

Which shocked Obama and the Democrats more than rewiring a bathroom light fixture while standing in a full tub of water.

“When I said you can keep your health care, you know, I’m looking at folks who’ve got employer-based health care,” Obama said. “I’m looking at folks who’ve got Medicare and Medicaid. And that accounts for the vast majority of Americans.”

Call that trying to paint something pretty over an ugly portrait.

Even still, to make up for the shock of cancelled plans and other disturbances, Obama opted for his fix for those Americans who want to keep their health insurance plan, and to alleviate public discontent and provide some political cover for panicked Democrats in Congress.

In short, the administrative fix will allow insurers to offer 2013 individual health care plans through 2014 without meeting the minimum standards of the Affordable Care Act.

In addition, insurers will be required to tell consumers what those plans omit and inform them of the more comprehensive plans that exist on the insurance marketplaces.

Not to prop up Obama’s Great Misadventure, but most of the plans cancelled by insurers evidently were junk — plans that gave peace of mind to consumers but wouldn’t help them in the case of an emergency.

Obama noted that part of the reason for health care reform was that insurers were refusing to cover care for the millions of Americans who purchased these plans.

Under the Affordable Care Act, this can no longer happen.

Allegedly.

My heartfelt apologies for the Russian novel length of this dissertation, but this insurance crap is a tad more complicated than trying to absorb the principles of biochemistry while poisonously hung over.

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