This Super Bowl was ugly enough to make you stick two drumsticks in your ears and stir

As we all know, offense is sexy. The offensive-oriented NFL in recent years has generated more sex appeal than Victoria’s Secret (depending on what stage your hormone levels are).

But one axiom is an eternal truth, just as true that it sucks to live in Berks County during snowy winters.

Cue the drum roll and cannon fire. Defense wins championships.

Happened again last night in not-so-Super Bowl 48 in relatively balmy MetLife Stadium in hardly sexy East Rutherford, N.J.

Seattle’s top-ranked defense kicked the freaking lights out of Denver’s top-ranked offense 43-8.

As knockouts go, it was vintage Cain vs. Abel and Louis vs. Schmeling.

Seattle’s Legion of Boom brought the hammer, reminding me of Ivan Putski the Polish Hammer.

The predatory Seahawks suffocated and swarmed Peyton Manning, who was rattled, sloppy, mistake-prone and flashed more exasperated frowns than Custer did at the Little Bighorn.

Except for desperate underneath passes, the Broncos’ vaunted receivers couldn’t get any separation.

Even their shadows and deodorant don’t get as close to them as the Seattle secondary did.

The Broncos couldn’t run. They were more grounded than rebellious teens.

Denver couldn’t hold onto the ball, committing four turnovers in the face of unrelenting pressure.

Denver had 11 possessions and only one ended in points, a pathetic showing by a team that averaged almost 38 points per game in the regular season and broke the NFL’s all-time single-season scoring record with 606 points.

You kind of got an omen that this game was going into the crapper in a hurry for the Broncos when on the game’s first snap from scrimmage they snapped it past a befuddled Manning and in a snap it was 2-0 Seattle courtesy of a safety.

Seattle doesn’t mess with a lot of sophisticated defensive schemes. The Seahawks simply punch you in the mouth until you spit teeth like Chiclets.

The Seahawks disrupted Manning’s timing and rhythm, consistently forcing him off his spot in the pocket due to pass pressure. He was only sacked once, but the pass rush directly contributed to both of his interceptions — the second of which was returned 69 yards for a touchdown by Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith, an outside linebacker.

It was a strange game because while Seattle went out with a bang, its utter dominance reduced America’s High Secular Holy Day to a whimper.

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