Compared to Sam Hinkie, a turtle is an Olympic sprinter.
Molasses, not blood, apparently flows through his veins.
If this guy built the Egyptian pyramids, they still would be under construction.
The Sixers GM specializes in acquiring long-term assets that can’t walk up steps, let alone play hoops.
George Allen’s motto was The Future Is Now.
Sam Hinkie’s motto is The Future.
There is no present in this guy’s world.
He reportedly has never watched Today on NBC.
As a kid he must have spent way too much time in Disney World’s Tomorrowland.
He demands that Sixers fans be patient and wait and wait and wait to see winning basketball.
Some of those fans likely will be dead by the time the Sixers possibly reap the benefits of last night’s NBA draft.
The Sixers had a helluva draft. For 2017 that is.
Last year Hinkie took Nerlens Noel No. 1, a guy recovering from an ACL injury.
Apparently Noel is as slow as Hinkie. He took the entire season to recover.
Last night the Sixers took another incapacitated big man with the third pick in the draft, Joel Embiid — rumored to be the next Hakeen Olajuwon if you SuperGlue all his bones together.
The guy suffered a stress fracture in his back at the end of Kansas’ season and now he has a fracture of the navicular bone in his foot.
The latter injury for a big man sometimes can be almost as bad as a leg amputation.
It takes 6 months to recover from that type of injury and often the player never is the same. With Hinkie’s MO, look for Embiid to sit out the entire season.
Cross your fingers he doesn’t fracture his tailbone doing all that sitting.
With the 10th pick in the first round, the Sixers took Elfrid Payton, rumored to be more of a cab driver than a poor shooting point guard and then flipped him to Orlando for Croatian forward Dario Saric.
Apparently Saric has been eating up Europe with his excellent passing and ball-handling when he’s not fighting off the Russians.
But he recently signed a three-year deal with a Turkish team (did Putin put a guy to his head?) that many believe will keep him in Europe for at least two years.
So the Sixers likely will have absolutely no impact whatsoever this season from a draft in which they had two high picks.
And it could be 2017 until Noel, Embiid and Saric take the same court for the Sixers … if ever.
Until then, look for tumbleweeds to be blowing through the Wells Fargo Center Ghost Town.