Brian Hoyer may defuse Manziel Mania all by his own self

Brian Hoyer is messing with the script more than a fussy director.

The Screenwriters Guild would not approve.

Johnny Football, aka Johnny Manziel and Johnny Selfie, was supposed to be the star of the Cleveland Browns this season.

Manziel, who oozes Hollywood star charisma and who performed all sorts of magical feats with his arm, feet, moxie and raucous partying while winning a Heisman Trophy at Texas A&M, eventually will be the Browns’ starting quarterback.

A top quarterback pick is handed that by divine right. He is, after all, the presumed heir and air to the throne.

Some become ascendant stars. Others fizzle spectacularly and burn down to mere ash.

Looks like Manziel may have to wait to get his star turn.

Brian Hoyer, — who never parties, who is duller than khakis, who spent three years in the Witness Protection Program backing up Tom Brady, who finally got his starting show with his hometown Browns and went a stuff-of-fairy-tales 3-0 last year before the damnable Fickle Finger of Fate shredded his ACL like so much linguini — is playing so well that unless Manziel puts on an astonishing aerial circus and stockpiles a supernatural string of death-defying and hearts-gulping-in-throats scrambles that belie rational belief during the preseason games, is going to be the starter.

If this shall come to pass, pardon the pun, Brian Hoyer will be Rocky and Rudy rolled into one.

An underdog as undercover as underwear will be basking in the neon white heat of the spotlight.

Bubonic plague climbs from the history textbooks and sprouts in China

Bubonic plague, it turns out, is not entombed in the past.

The same horror that killed tens of millions throughout Europe during the 14th century now has trapped 30,000 people in the Chinese city of Yumen.

Yumen has been sealed off from the rest of the country because a 38-year-old died from bubonic plague contracted from contact with a dead marmot.

Bubonic plague, not so affectionately nicknamed the Black Death, is a virulent bacterial infection.

Fortunately we now have antibiotics that can effectively treat the disease if administered in a timely fashion.

Which hopefully keeps The Grim Reaper from poaching the Yumen populace.