Flood, fire, famine, pestilence and now FIFA apparently is more corrupt than a Sicilian crime family

Isn’t the real world messed up enough, what with ISIS, racism, the death of rock and roll, Jon Stewart soon signing off, and the Republicans having more presidential aspirants than McDonald’s has napkins and straws?

The answer, unless you have spent the last 10 years sequestered in your hamper snacking on squid, is a resounding yes.

It used to be that sports was a wonderful, idyllic escape from the trials and tribulations of reality.

Which is why they played major league baseball with a bunch of guys who were 4F during World War II.

But sports now is as contaminated as the real world.

Look at the steroid abuse in baseball for years. Guys were growing massive muscles while their testicles shrunk to the size of poppy seeds.

Look at all the domestic violence committed by NFL players. It’s their wives and girlfriends who should suit up in pads and helmets.

And, horror of unspeakable and unmentionable horrors, look at Deflategate and Tom Brady’s soft balls.

Now comes soccer’s turn.

When most people think of soccer, the World Cup and 57 million kids under-8 swarming across a field near you come to mind.

Soccer seemed devoid of contamination unless somebody put a 24-year-old midget on an under-8 roster or somebody died in their sleep after watching another scoreless game in which the ball couldn’t find the goal even if were equipped with a GPS.

How naive we all were. Next thing you know, we’ll find out that the Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet included a disgusting foot fetish.

Today all hell broke loose as U.S. prosecutors kicked FIFA to the curb.

FIFA, by the way, is the world governing body of football (it’s only called soccer in the United States and parts of Mississippi) and not the name of a poodle.

Prosecutors say they have uncovered a dozen different schemes while investigating corruption at FIFA, including the awarding of the 2010 World Cup to South Africa.

U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch said that bribery and corruption have been marring the sport for at least 24 years as FIFA officials solicited bribes from sports marketing firms and others surrounding its marquee events.

I suspect most Americans will yawn at this shocking indictment of FIFA’s integrity and wonder why the hell FIFA didn’t use some of that bribe money to bribe goalies to allow a goal every four years or so.


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