A mozzarella stick without cheese is like a pool without water — what’s the point?

McDonald’s is getting flak for serving mozzarella sticks that are missing cheese.

In essence, they are serving many customers fried air.

Is nothing sacred?

Air, of course, isn’t as fattening as cheese or as artery clogging.

Somehow I don’t think McDonald’s motive was to spare our health.

Granted, not all of their mozzarella sticks are hollow and some actually contain cheese.

I guess McDonald’s will have to work on their production process just a bit.

Or just stick to Big Macs.

The Old Man vs. The Kid in this Super tussle

So now it’s onto Super Bowl 50.

By the way, the Super Bowl no longer is being counted in Roman numerals. Like the Roman Catholic Church years ago, the NFL has seen the light that Latin is a dead language. Caesar is rolling over in his grave.

For the third straight year, the Super Bowl will be a matchup of top seeds, the Panthers in the NFC and the Broncos in the AFC.

But this year’s Super Bowl is the first-ever matchup of passers who went No. 1 in the NFL draft, Peyton Manning in 1998 and Cam Newton in 2011.

If you can do the math, that’s a gap of 13 years. And even a much bigger disparity in arm velocity. Newton has a howitzer. Manning has a linguini noodle.

Which gives the Panthers a better offense, especially with Newton’s bulldozer running capability. Manning, meanwhile, has the mobility of a cemetery.

Both teams have excellent defenses but the Panthers pack more firepower offensively.

In the Manning-Tom Brady era, the torch is being passed to Newton. And it definitely is not too hot for his touch.

A Super Bowl title for Cam will punctuate the transition.

A tale of two coaches … Doug Pederson and Chip Kelly

Sources, and they know who they are even if we don’t, have confirmed that Doug Pederson will be the Eagles’ next head coach.

Cue up the violins and crash the cymbals.

Perhaps not.

Pederson, Kansas City’s offensive coordinator, can’t be hired until the Chiefs are out of the playoffs. They are the hottest team in the league and play at New England this weekend.

Pederson’s hiring should elicit mostly yawns and worse from cynics.

He was a pedestrian NFL quarterback who played for the Eagles and also was their quarterbacks coach. His mentor is Andy Reid.

But he just may be a poor man’s Andy Reid, who calls most of the plays in KC.

Pederson has a low profile around the league and no other team interviewed him for a head coaching job. He has never coached under anyone but Reid in the NFL.

Not exactly a pedigree you need sunglasses to read.

But after the Chip Kelly debacle in Philly, the Eagles obviously covet stability and familiarity. In Pederson they are hoping to push a reset button to when Reid was running an operation smoother than silk.

Meanwhile, Kelly is the new head coach of the 49ers.

There are three elements that bear watching with Kelly in San Francisco:

How will he interact with general manager Trent Baalke, a personnel hard-liner who notoriously clashed with Jim Harbaugh before the latter was deep-sixed? Kelly, if you recall, insisted on total personnel control in Philly.

What does this mean for the future of Colin Kaepernick, who is recovering from left shoulder, right thumb and left knee surgeries? Kaepernick, whose skill set fits Kelly’s offense, was thought to be done with the Niners. His $11.9 million salary for 2016 becomes fully guaranteed for injury on April 1.

Has Kelly learned anything from his mistakes in Philly, most notoriously his refusal to adjust his schemes to fit personnel and to audible, not to mention being a total asshole within the organization?

As the world turns, we undoubtedly will get some answers to the questions now trailing Pederson and Kelly like a timber wolf.

Sweet home Alabama where the skies are the color of pigskin

I don’t know what it is about Alabama, but whether it’s Bear Bryant or Nick Saban — arguably the two best college football coaches of all time — ‘Bama has been the greatest conqueror since Genghis Khan.

In a delicious national title game Monday night in Glendale, Ariz., the Crimson Tide hung a 45-40 masterpiece win over previously unbeaten and supremely talented Clemson.

A masterpiece that should be preserved in water color, framed and hung on walls everywhere.

Two special teams plays — a Tide-changing onside kick and a 95-yard kickoff return for a touchdown — in the fourth quarter were the difference.

For Saban, a 64-year-old icon who still immerses himself in the details of an old-school offense, a defensive front physical enough to wrestle the hordes of the aforementioned Genghis Khan, and a Herculean daily work ethic, it was his fifth career national championship and fourth in the past seven years at ‘Bama.

I do believe that the man and his program deserve our rapturous applaud.

Granted, it would have been dandy had Crimson been able to become the first team to go 15-0 in the modern era.

But, as Socrates once philosophized, spit happens.

After all, legend has it that Eve offered the apple to Adam during a Friday lunch in the Garden of Eden dining hall. If only pears had been on the menu.

Let’s squeeze the trigger on gun violence with slow burning at the stake for offenders

OK, apparently we are never going to stop the floodtide of illegal gun purchases in America.

Bullets evidently will be zinging through the not-so-friendly skies of the good old USA forever and a day.

Let it be.

So let us turn instead to severe, immediate punishment for anyone caught shooting somebody or having an illegal gun in their possession.

Immediate burning at the stake. No trial. Just matches and a small fire.

If the fire is too big, death occurs first by asphyxia rather than damage done by the flames.

In a small fire the victim suffers until the end when death occurs either because of blood loss or heatstroke — both of which can take hours.

That should deter a few gun heretics from scratching their itchy trigger fingers.

Wall Street rocked by China shock

Well, Happy New Year didn’t exactly have a long shelf life. It’s only January 4 and already the financial world has gone to hell, courtesy of some Chinese fireworks.

U.S. stock indexes tumbled more than 2 percent on the first trading day of 2016 — with the Dow losing more than 400 points — after weak Chinese economic data reignited fears of a global slowdown.

Surveys showed factory activity in the world’s second-largest economy shrank sharply in December, sparking a 7 percent slide in Chinese shares that triggered a trading halt.

Adding to investors’ worries, China’s central bank fixed the yuan at a 4-1/2 year low, further weakening it against the dollar.

Bad news such as this is why my face is developing more lines than Disney World.

A drop like that is healthier than my bar tab.

I would rather find myself under a Kamikaze attack than watch my investments shrink like a Chippendale dancer in a cold swimming pool.

But we must remember that our money is in this for the long haul and stock markets are more volatile than a serial killer with a bad case of Shingles.

What goes up must come down … spinning wheel got to go ’round.

So despite Monday’s stormy news, it didn’t rain hard enough to break out a poncho of despair.