Trump’s mind takes flight when he says the Continental Army took over the airports

Perhaps the president’s teleprompter did go kaput during his Fourth of Trump Wikipedia history lesson Thursday night when he uttered the infamous words:

“The Continental Army suffered the bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware, and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our Army handled the air, it rammed the ramparts. It took over the airports.”

Evidently, George Washington was ahead of his time, covering all the bases just in case King George III beat the Wright Brothers to manned flight.

Now we all have our brain farts. But a guy who occupies the White House should have known that planes were not yet flying during the Revolutionary War.

Apparently, Trump’s mind went kaput as well.

In the interest of fair and balanced reporting, Barack Obama said during his 2008 presidential campaign that he had visited 57 states with one left to go.

I don’t know about you, but I miss George Washington.

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Phillies hope to ride Harper’s ferry to greatness

Bryce Harper now is a permanent fixture on the Philadelphia skyline, just as the sun becomes a molten fingernail of light on the daily horizon above Billy Penn’s Phillies hat.

It only took only 117 days for Harper to squeeze out a mammoth 13-year, $330 million contract from the Phillies, making his net worth bigger than Venezuela’s.

Amazingly, it’s a team-friendly deal because by spreading the money over so many years, the Phillies will have enough cap space to lure other free agents through the years.

Hopefully one of them is Mike Trout, the Jersey boy, fanatical Philadelphia Eagles fan and the best baseball player on the planet who toils in obscurity with the Angels.

Trout, unless he signs a contract extension with Los Angeles, will become a free agent in 615 days.

Harper and Trout in the same Phillies lineup would be vintage Dynamic Duo horsepower … sort of like Ruth and Gehrig with the Yankees, Mantle and Maris with the Yankees, Mays and McCovey with the Giants, Canseco and McGuire with the Athletics, and Zonca and Zielinski as Reading Eagle sports columnists.

The defense didn’t rest in the Super Bowl

So everybody thinks this year’s Super Bowl sucked, right?

If you judge it through the prism of the current age’s offensive-centric metrics, it did.

But if you go old school, when football was a mite more Neanderthal in approach, it was a clinic in defensive brilliance.

The Patriots won the game but their and the Rams’ defense were amazing in shutting down two of the most prolific offenses in the NFL this season.

Today, the defense rests.

Apparently President Trump has spent too much time in the heat

President Trump was on “60 Minutes” last evening to present The World According to Donald Trump, which is remarkably different from the world the rest of us inhabit.

Trump now denies denying climate change, backing off on his oft-repeated claim that global warming is a hoax.

Is our president suddenly sprouting some smarts?

Sadly, no. He then said that climate change could very well go back.

No chance in hell.

Long-term average global temperatures have moved in one direction the last 115 years: upward. The rise of 1.8 degrees Fahrenheit since the start of the Industrial Revolution already has led to more intense wildfire seasons and the melting of Arctic sea ice.

The National Climate Assessment report on science approved by the White House in November found unequivocally that climate change will not reverse itself.

Just a thought, but wouldn’t it be awesome if climate change could reverse itself as easily as Trump reverses himself?

The 11th commandment: Protect the children, not the predators

A memo to the pope, cardinals, archbishops and bishops of the Roman Catholic Church working behind a mushroom cloud of incense to protect the institution and the predators instead of the victims of sexual abuse.

Jesus in Mark 9:42: “And whosoever shall offend one these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea.”

It is way past time to mute the howl of the wolf and amplify the bleat of the lamb.

Amen.

Pathetic Trump rolled over by Putin

The Trump-Putin summit Monday was an unmitigated disaster for America.

Our president disgraced himself and our country.

Donald Trump cowered instead of confronted. He deflected instead of being definitive. He should have taken to task Russian president Vladimir Putin for attacking our democratic process.

Instead, he was weak and subservient.

The world may never know what the two said behind closed doors — neither can be trusted to speak the truth — but the subsequent news conference left no doubt that Putin was the dominant one.

He was by turns commanding and confident as he stood side-by-side with Trump, artfully mixing in occasional expressions of boredom or bemusement. Virtually unchallenged by Trump, he asserted that Moscow has “never interfered” in an American political contest and would not do so in the future.

There were almost too many ignoble moments to count in a news conference in which Trump disparaged the media, Democrats, an investigation led by one of his nation’s most esteemed lawmen that has produced more than 30 indictments, including a dozen against Russian military intelligence — while giving Putin the benefit of the doubt for his “extremely strong and powerful” denial of any interference in U.S. elections.

Trump also defied the unanimous conclusion of all U.S. intelligence agencies by saying “I don’t see any reason” to believe that Russia was behind the hacking of Democratic computer servers. The indictments against the 12 Russians made public Friday offered extensive detail of the Russian penetration of not only those servers, but of state websites and computers handling voter registration.

With Putin standing beside him, Trump called the investigation by special counsel Robert Mueller that produced those indictments “a disaster for our country.”

No, Mr. President. You are.

 

It’s a mad, mad world

I have not posted on my world-famous Zeke Blog, the font of superlative prose and the zenith of humor, for sometime because I’ve been busy (1) searching for Godot, (2) wondering why all things are LeBron, (3) speculating why the impish Duchess Meghan would dare fancy a scandalized off-the-shoulder dress (how sinfully sordid!), (4) sending spy drones over Canada in preparation for a possible invasion, and (5) figuring out how Justin Trudeau and not Kim Jong Un is Bad Guy No. 1.

Speaking of folks named Kim, who has the bigger ass — Jong Un or Kardashian?