Going to the dogs

Some folks have the most redeemable, adorable qualities. They restore your faith in the human condition.

Then there are people like Cavan McDaniel, who likely won’t be named Humanitarian of the Year.

Cops in Florida say McDaniel assaulted a convenience store attendant with a barrage of hot dogs.

God, I hope she’s not a vegan.

According to a police statement on the arrest, witnesses told deputies that McDaniel was upset because the attendant would not sell him beer.

The victim then told deputies that McDaniel threw hot dogs at her and poked her in the face with a corn dog stick, leaving a red mark under an eye.

Another black eye for mankind.


The Eagles fly to a Super Bowl title on a daredevil flight

Live long enough and you’re liable to see the improbable, hell, impossible become reality.

The last time the Philadelphia Eagles won a world championship I was 11 and listened to them beat the Vince Lombardi Green Bay Packers on the radio because the 1960 NFL title game was blacked out in Philly.

Then came Sunday night’s spectacularly astonishing 41-33 Eagles’ Super Bowl victory over the New England Patriots when both offenses were electrifying and both defenses rested their case.

This time there was no incredible Patriots’ comeback. This time QB12, also known as Tom Brady the G.O.A.T., didn’t pull it out with a miracle. Despite throwing for an incredible 505 yards, his Hail Mary went unanswered as his 60-yard heave on the final play bounced off a bunch of hands and onto the Patriots’ logo in the end zone.

The Eagles were champions of the world for the first time in 58 years.

Eagles coach Doug Pederson, a swashbuckling gambler who has evolved into a master play caller, outwitted The Hoodie. And Nick Foles was dropping dimes with aplomb and throwing deep with uncanny accuracy.

Tom may be beating Time but he couldn’t beat the Eagles.

For Philly was a team of destiny. And you can’t screw with destiny.

Foles, Eagles are barking Super Bowl

Pardon me if I’m a little tipsy with the intoxication of the moment, but the Eagles are going to the Super Bowl!

Imagine that because nobody in hell – or heaven – ever imagined that back in August.

Remember that dark day when wunderkind Carson Wentz went down with a shredded ACL and folks thought that the Birds’ season went up in smoke?

Guess what? They were not down to their last cigarette.

Courtesy of Nick Foles, who once upon a time had a fairy tale season of his own under Chip Kelly with the Eagles.

In the NFC conference championship game Sunday night against the favored Vikings, Foles had a supernova of a game. He rode an awesome wave all evening, one of those galactic explosions of white light that simply consumes everything else.

He entered the game with circumstances putting him squarely in the crosshairs. If what he had wrought in the game had gone down in flames, he would have been the first one incinerated.

Instead he burned that vaunted Vikings’ D, going a do-you-freaking-believe-this 26 of 33 for 352 yards, three touchdowns, no picks and an astounding 141.4 passing rating in a resounding 38-7 ass-whupping.

So much for the Eagles being underdogs.

Sunday night we heard the howl of the wolf — OK, dog — and the bleat of the lamb.

Besides Foles and his electric offense, the Eagles’ defense gobbled up the Vikings like a starving wolf tracking down a pork chop.

Granted, the Eagles face a daunting task in the Super Bowl when they confront the immortal Tom Brady and the dynastic Patriots. Once again they will be characterized as underdogs.

But these underdogs have one percussive bite.

Hey Eagles, who let the dogs out?

Professional athletes amuse me. They play lousy and then feel disrespected when people doubt them.

The Eagles more than fit the stereotype going into their NFC divisional playoff Saturday with the Falcons.

Philly had limped through the end of the regular season, with Nick Foles sailing ducks all over the field and the defense losing some of its bite.

So the top-seeded Eagles were underdogs against the sixth-seeded and peaking Falcons. Logical indeed.

If that lit a fire under the Eagles, it must have been one helluva big match.

The Eagles’ defense was tighter than a clam with lockjaw, and demonstrated valiant resiliency and resolve in an incredible goal-line stand to close it out.

Foles, after a nervous start, finished 23 of 30 for 246 yards and several crucial third-down conversion passes. Foles can’t spin it or run it like Carson Wentz, but he did enough to get by and didn’t throw any killer picks.

The end result was juicier than a summer peach, a 15-10 Eagles’ victory that vaults them into next Sunday’s NFC title game.

Which, of course, is one step away from the Super Bowl.

Does Philly still believe in St. Nick?

Man, the Eagles’ offense absolutely was coyote ugly in their lucky-as-hell 19-10 non-loss to the ragtag Raiders Monday night.

Yep, I know the Birds clinched home-field advantage through the playoffs, etc.

But they hardly are peaking despite their NFL-best 13-2 record.

Once the playoffs begin, it’s the peaking teams, not necessarily the top-seeded teams, that prevail in the Super Bowl derby.

And was that any way for St. Nick to perform on Christmas Night? Nick Foles totally was out of sync with his wide receivers.

If they don’t introduce themselves by the first playoff game, it could be one and done for the Eagles, who commit too many blunders and whose DBs often break their ankles trying to cover double moves.

The Eagles defense, except for a valiant last stand, is so much Swiss cheese in Foles’ first start

OK, Nick Foles was just fine. In fact, beyond fine.

The defense, except for a beyond-clutch late defensive stop, was not.

All’s well that ends well but Eagles fans had sweat running off then in small rivers whether they were at in the Meadowlands or at home.

During the waning, agonizing closing minutes, a monumental Giants’ upset came a-chugging into the wheelhouse.

Close but no cigar.

Foles threw four touchdown passes in his first start replacing the injured Carson Wentz, and the Eagles secured a first-round playoff bye, rallying from an early 14-point deficit to hold off the woebegone Giants 34-29 Sunday in East Rutherford, N.J.

Foles hit 24 of 38 passes for 237 yards and no interceptions. The Eagles (12-2) made a late stand on first-and-goal in the final minute in edging the Giants (2-12) for the second time this season, spoiling a three-touchdown, season-high 434-yard passing game by the resurrected Eli “Lazarus” Manning.

Foles threw scoring passes ranging from 3 to 13 yards in filling in for Wentz, who tore an ACL last week and was lost for the season after a brilliant year.

Philadelphia’s Super Bowl Express still is on track despite the close-as-this derailment.

A transcedent Eagles victory besmirched by Wentz’s knee injury

The Eagles beat the Rams 43-35 in a deliciously entertaining NFC East and playoff-clinching 43-35 thriller in Los Angeles Sunday that boosted them to 11-2 and returned them to the top seed in the NFC.

So why after that watershed conquest in which Carson Wentz threw for four touchdowns were so many faithful of Eagles nation wearing a death mask, the sort of fierce, unwavering expression you see on a gargoyle, frozen in malevolence?

Indeed, you could almost feel the air grow still and dark and cold as it does before the onset of some violent upheaval of nature when Wentz, who threw four touchdown passes, exited with an injured left knee that very well could be a season-ending and possibly Super Bowl-deflating torn ACL.

Suddenly a pin prick burst the balloon of hyperventilation, anticipation and trepidation bubbling forth from the Eagles’ populace.

Now backup QB Nick Foles, only four seasons removed from being the Eagles’ bronze-armed golden boy, is squarely in the crosshairs. If Wentz indeed is out for the remainder of the season, if what Foles has wrought henceforth goes down in flames, he will be the first one incinerated when the Eagles miss making the Super Bowl.

Make no mistake, Foles can play. Granted, compared to the athletic and improvisational Wentz, Foles seems studied, mechanical and lacking in liquidity.

The Birds will have to redesign their offense to play to the strengths of the less mobile and more traditional pocket passer in Foles if Wentz is out.

But the 2013 season is worth remembering for Foles. The Eagles won eight of his 10 starts and that was the year he finished with a gaudy ratio of 27 touchdowns to just two interceptions, including an NFL record-tying seven TD passes in one game.

If the MRI shows that Wentz’s left ACL is so much linguini, will past be prologue for Nick Foles and the Eagles?