Trump fires Comey, making Uncle Sam weep

President Donald “The Executioner” Trump abruptly fired FBI Director James Comey Tuesday, dramatically ousting the nation’s top law enforcement official in the midst of an FBI investigation into whether Trump’s campaign had ties to Russia’s meddling in the election that sent him to the White House.

Not to get into politics, but don’t you wish it could have been the other way around?

Firing Comey can be summed up in five letters — PURGE.

Trump may have more warts than a witch, but give the guy credit: He hates losing. Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

Of course, Trump never has had a boss. Which is why he acts more like a dictator than a president.

The thin of skin tend to pout and sulk after having been strafed or even perceiving to having been strafed. But often they also tend to respond with seething I’ll-show-him passion.

Which, in a nutshell, is Trump firing Comey.

Welcome to the New America!

GOP House bill shifts the healthcare cost from the wealthy and healthy to the non-wealthy and unhealthy

I suspect you’ve seen this even more than a Geico commercial: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

To be more specific, it’s good to be rich and it sucks to be not rich.

Thursday’s 217-213 vote in the House to repeal Obamacare and replace it with the Republicans’ new healthcare plan constitutes one of the largest wealth transfers in history from the poor and middle class to wealthy Americans.

Hopefully the Senate rewrites the hell out of this legislation. If not, the non-Trumps and non-Rockefellers among us are getting the pudding pounded out of us.

The House bill further exacerbates economic disparities in our country. Even worse, the health of our nation will likely decline from its already perilous state, as far fewer Americans will have adequate health insurance.

I thought Obamacare sucked but this is much worse because it’s pure napalm and tabasco sauce for all of us who don’t light our Cuban cigars with $100 bills.

To be clear, this bill does nothing to improve the health of Americans. Nor does it reduce the staggering cost of health care, or lessen its inexorable rise.

The likelihood is that the overall health of our citizens will get worse, especially among those who cannot afford the full coverage they have today, including a large proportion of Trump voters.

All the bill accomplishes is to shift the burden of paying for health care from the wealthy and healthy to middle class and unhealthy citizens.

If you are not a regular dinner companion of the Trumps at Mar-a-Lago,  then I suggest you pour yourself a stiff one.

Make it a double.

What the hell, leave the bottle.

The Eagles didn’t stretch for Barnett — a good thing since drafting is not yoga

Granted, the Eagles didn’t make a sexy first-round pick Thursday night when they plucked Tennessee DE Derek Barnett.

So what?

Guys with a pastry tray of potential and exotic physical assets can go boom but often go bust.

Barnett is none of that. He is a football player, pure and simple. Which is exactly the point. He is a safe pick.

OK, perhaps his speed is a tick slow and his arms are a tad short for a defensive end. But he plays smart, has one helluva quick burst off the line and was a tower of productivity in the tough SEC.

The dude can rush the passer. Pairing Barnett’s skill off the edge with Jim Schwartz’s wide scheme is a beautiful marriage worthy of some wedding cake.

Barnett can line up wide and worry about little else beyond penetrating into the backfield — the perfect role for his skill set. Brandon Graham, Chris Long and Barnett make for a talented DE trio that should fire fastballs at QBs and take some heat off the cornerbacks.

That being said, the Birds had better pick a talented cornerback tonight. Make that two!

Aaron Hernandez is dead, but he already had thrown his life away

Call it the Triple T.

Talent. Trouble. Torment.

Aaron Hernandez had plenty of all three

His troublesome and strange saga is over.

The man who blew it all is dead, apparently by his own hand. But people close to him say he would never kill himself and speculate that he may have been murdered.

The timing was as weird as his life. He was found dead in his cell Wednesday, the same day some of his former New England Patriots teammates visited the White House to celebrate their most recent Super Bowl victory.

Some question why Hernandez would take his own life — Massachusetts prison officials say he hung himself in his cell — just when things seemed to be looking better for his future.

It was only a week ago that he was acquitted of two additional murders in a separate case.

Although Hernandez was already serving a life sentence without parole for murder, his attorneys were hopeful that Hernandez had a chance to be released from prison soon because the 2013 conviction was being automatically reviewed by the state’s highest court.

The chronology of his wasted life is bizarre.

Star tight end at the University of Florida at 17.

Drafted by New England Patriots at 20.

Signs $40 million deal with New England Patriots at 23.

Convicted Killer at 25.

Dead in apparent suicide at 27.

The fleet tight end simply couldn’t outrun his demons, the drugs, the gangs, the violence, even himself.

It’s not for me to speculate on whether Aaron Hernandez is resting in peace. But I do know that he sure as hell did not live in peace.

The president’s biggest problem is Donald Trump

OK, so the early months of the Trump Administration have been a circus in chaos.

At least it is keeping us amazed and/or appalled.

Besides, a presidency without warts is like watching a haircut.

The problem with the president is Donald Trump. His personality got him elected but it handicaps him in office.

He needs to stop the tweets. Twitter is like a narcotic to him but it’s pure poison to him.

And he’s too damn thin-skinned. Some people have a chip on their shoulder. He has a whole lumberyard.

Plus he has a chin of pure Waterford crystal, which gives rise to the old adage that people who live in glass jaws shouldn’t throw punches.

The biggest danger in getting into argument with Trump is that you might get hit by flying glass.

Villanova comes up short and cold and home

Magic always has a shelf life. Eventually the genie always climbs back into the bottle.

Nothing lasts forever, except for all the television commercials that suck the life out of the NCAA hoops tourney.

They don’t call it March Madness because of the basketball. It’s because of the glut of damn commercials.

Villanova broke a lot of brackets and hearts today when it squandered a seven-point lead with 5 minutes and 27 seconds to play. It was then that the Wildcats became colder than a witch’s you-know-what — scoring only one field goal the remainder of the way and going just 3 of 6 from the free throw line.

There would be no encore to their magic carpet ride to last year’s national championship. Wisconsin snuffed that dream 65-62.

Nova star Josh Hart couldn’t mimic Superman on the Wildcats’ last full possession — losing the ball when he recklessly drove through a thicket of Badgers in the lane.

It was desperate. It was dumb.

Unlike last year when they had some inside game, Jay Wright’s guard-centric Wildcats were flawed this season because they had no interior presence. A team cannot survive being merely a perimeter team.

And Kris Jenkins, who made the amazing title-winning shot last year, seemingly hasn’t hit a bucket since. Or so it seemed. He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat all year.  He had just six points Saturday, going 2 for 9 from the floor. Pirates pitcher Steve Blass suddenly couldn’t find the plate one season. Kris Jenkins suddenly couldn’t find the basket this year.

No Sweet Sixteen. No Final Four. Back to the term papers and lab work for the Wildcats.

Turn the lights out, the party’s over.

Villanova’s magic has disappeared like the morning dew.

Eagles muscle up receiving corps

Free agency often is fool’s gold.

But who can resist striking it rich?

The Eagles, on paper, had a helluva Tuesday — adding stud Alshon Jeffery and serviceable Torrey Smith at wide receiver.

At least this year Carson Wentz has somebody to throw to who can actually get open and catch the ball.

Throw in the signing of former first-round guard Chance Warmack and the Birds had a good day acquiring bodies.

The offense should have some juice this fall.